You thought you had found the perfect guy. You couldn’t imagine him cheating or walking out on you. I hear this frequently in my office…why didn’t he tell you how he felt? Why did he clam up or act like everything was okay when it wasn’t? He was so into you, and you never thought he would leave. There are things that guys keep to themselves. The majority of men I counsel are complimentary about their partners – until I ask them how she makes him feel. Then they begin revealin

If you’ve been trying to put the marriage idea in your partner’s ear, today is the day. March 20th has been named “National Proposal Day.” No matter who you are or what you think is romantic – today is your day to pop the question. With March 20th being the first day of spring and a national celebration, it will be easy to remember your anniversary (although please take note of the year you get married). A recent proposal day survey by National Today shows that men aren’t the

Marriage is tough and commitment is not biologically natural, which is one reason when you get married you must commit to monogamy. This is my theory, and although there are many theories in marital therapy, the one that works the best is the one that works for the couple. I find it interesting that humans never change although technology is changing at a rate so fast few of us can keep up. One of the changes is a slew of apps and websites to cheat. Couples using these apps a

Emotional affairs (EAs) are sneaky and it is common to find out you are in one without really understanding when and how it happened. Facebook, instant messaging, texting, and tweeting have opened doors for emotional affairs to storm in and have also built the walls necessary to keep it secret. These are two of the absolutes for an emotional affair to exist. EAs begin innocently enough. They take place at work, school, happy hours, and coffee hours, almost anywhere whenever t

A frequent question I hear is, “Should I divorce?” How do you know when your marriage is over? It’s a difficult question and one no one can answer for you. For one couple, a cheating spouse may be the final reason. For another couple, cheating may be worked through, but the in-laws may be the reason for divorce. I usually advise couples to wait and put every ounce of energy they can into salvaging the marriage. I also ask them to think about issues: How will your children far

The loneliest feeling does not come from being single. It is being married or living with someone, but feeling alone. This happens when one of the partners checks out or leaves the relationship emotionally but eats there, does their laundry there and sleeps there. For all other purposes though, you are without a partner. This happens to couples who live together as well as couples who date and marry. That means, many couples live with someone, but are alone. Many times a cris

The Super Bowl can be a super time for your relationship. After all, sharing a common goal is a great way to build your relationship; what better way to share a common goal than to cheer your team to a victory together? The Super Bowl is an event of excitement and visual stimulation that provides plenty of time to give each other attention. Channeling the attitude of NFL players can help you win in your relationship. Have your huddle time. When making big decisions, the whole

"People are made to be loved and things are made to be used. The confusion in this world is that people are used and things are loved." — Author Unknown. I watched 20/20 last week with millions of others to see the aftermath of destruction that followed the scandal Bernie Madoff put in motion. The story depicted the results of greed, deception, narcissism, and destruction when you value money more than anything else. Closer to home, with the current economic situation, loss o

When talking to your friends about the key to a successful marriage, you may leave the conversation feeling overwhelmed and stressed, more convinced it’s sex, time spent or financial security that holds happy couples together. These issues are important and the couples themselves determine their importance, but the key to couples’ happiness may be something else. In fact, continued and new research is beginning to get more clear about what is and isn’t as important to martial

When couples come for marital therapy there is a sense of urgency and despair. Many of them have talked about ending the marriage, and a few of them are using marital therapy as a last-ditch effort to save their marriage. A common question that is asked within the first half hour of meeting with them is, “How do we know when it is over?” This is a tough question, because anyone who has been married for some time and hit unexpected problems in their marriage has at least fanta