When one partner begins blaming the other in the bedroom or withdraws from intimacy, very rarely do couples look at what is going on outside the bedroom. However, good sex begins outside the bedroom, and bad sex rarely happens when the rest of the relationship is well supported. Although couples come in seeking help in the bedroom, the problem rarely begins there or is focused there. If your bedroom has become more of an office or reading room than a place for love making, ch

I was recently asked to contribute to an article for the New York Times about whether or not spouses should sleep in the same bed. Sleeping next to each other can enhance your marriage; however, how many sleepless nights should you suffer through before talking to your partner about changing your sleep style at night? Suggesting a sleep divorce may seem drastic but so is sleep deprivation. Body heat, snoring, body odor, restless leg syndrome, or simply needing space are reaso

Relationships are diverse, and no two couples are alike. However, there are common intimacy and communication issues that arise for many committed couples. One of the obstacles of improving intimacy and communication is finding a safe place to be vulnerable and feel comfortable talking about those issues. Most of us weren’t raised with parents who talked openly about sex; therefore, when couples begin feeling lonely or frustrated with their sexual concerns, they don’t know ho

Feeling bored in the bedroom? Summer is the perfect time to spice things up. An active and fulfilling sex life improves your overall emotional and physical health. It reduces stress, improves sleep, and promotes cardiovascular health. Incorporating one or two of these behaviors and reinvesting in keeping your summer romantic will change the mood around your house. Be open to trying new things in the bedroom. For example, consider: -Wearing lighter lingerie at night. -Wat

For the past several years, researchers have noticed an unusual trend in the United States. Americans are having less sex then they did in previous decades. Some of that can be explained by the large amounts of older individuals and young people not partnered or married. Yet, according to the most recent study data from the General Social Survey (GSS), 23 percent of adult Americans did not have sex at all in 2018, which was up 19 percent in 30 years. There are several theorie

When we hear the word outsourcing, we usually think about business practices. If a business doesn’t have the specialists it needs to do a particular job, it may outsource it to another business that does. Outsourcing can bring new ideas and efficiency to a business or even help a business expand. However, trying to outsource in your personal relationships is not a wise idea. As boundaries between work and personal life have become more and more blurred, many people are trying

One of the most basic needs of humans is connection. We need to know we matter and are loved by others. With technological advancement and blurred boundaries between work and home, we’ve used social media to bridge connection with each other. However, social media is limited in helping people achieve true intimacy and a deeper sense of belonging. Not taking time to emotionally connect shortens longevity and increases loneliness, anxiety, depression and health problems. Parent

It's not because he doesn't love you, but because he loves you too much. Men are much more emotional than women (or men) can understand. I recently got back from a trip to Brazil. It was a work/pleasure vacation for my husband and myself. We spent most of our time in Florianopolis - a beautiful island connected to the mainland by a bridge. One morning, my husband and I came back to the hotel room, and we were both standing side-by-side looking out the window at the incredible

When couples lose desire or interest in their partner, they often blame the problem on less action in the bedroom. That may be part of the problem, but the issue is usually more complex. Sex is one small part of five types of intimacy. When couples decide to share their life, they share all five types of intimacy and this makes their physical attraction stronger. Unfortunately, as couples get busier with children, household chores, financial concerns, and careers they begin t

One difficult phrase and concept that I try to get my clients to understand is “mind-blowing intimacy.” This is no surprise as we are inundated with “mind-blowing sex” on reality TV, in magazines, on the Internet, and in movies. “Mind-blowing sex” gets the highest media ratings, as well as most couples’ attention. In truth, “mind-blowing sex” is nothing compared to “mind-blowing intimacy.” In real life, “mind-blowing sex” cannot save a marriage, nor can the lack of it destroy