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Reviving Your Relationship After a Sex Drought

For the past several years, researchers have noticed an unusual trend in the United States. Americans are having less sex then they did in previous decades. Some of that can be explained by the large amounts of older individuals and young people not partnered or married. Yet, according to the most recent study data from the General Social Survey (GSS), 23 percent of adult Americans did not have sex at all in 2018, which was up 19 percent in 30 years. There are several theories about the declining sex statistics. One is that modern lifestyles have contributed to sleep deprivation, bad diets, porn addictions, and obesity. The stress of modern life has led to more people coming home and sitting in front of the TV or playing video games to escape. Another is that texting has become the preferred method of communication, which leaves little room for deep connections with eye contact, physical touch, and intimacy.

In a long-term relationship, periodic sexual droughts are normal. The birth of a child, a sick family member, aging parents, work, and stress can stifle your sex life temporarily, but it shouldn’t put you in a sexual drought forever. Everyone has a different sexual appetite, but if you no longer are interested in sex that can be a warning sign that something deeper needs attention. Below are suggestions that can help you revive your sex life at whatever stage you’re in.

  1. If you have no interest in sex, seek the help of a urologist or gynecologist. Imbalanced hormones, erratic blood sugar, hypertension, and diabetes can be underlying causes. Medications may help revive your sexual drought.

  2. Childhood abuse, date rape, alcohol abuse, held in anger or resentment can make you feel disgusted or disinterested in physical intimacy. Dealing with past baggage can free you to feel sensual and sexual again.

  3. A financial counselor can help you set up a budget. If you live with your mom and dad and are an adult, it’s time you move out and assume the responsibilities of being an adult. If you’re overweight, try out a health club, free work out group, healthy eating plan, or commit to a daily, evening walk.

  4. Nothing will change in your sex life until you make changes to your personal life. Life is everything you’re missing while your eyes are on a screen.

  5. A Netflix hang out is not a date. A date is 90 to 120 minutes of active engagement with your date. It is engagement verbally, physically, and audibly. That means you talk, touch, and listen. Emotional intimacy leads to more frequent and higher quality sex.

Sexual health is important to your body’s overall health. Sex lowers your blood pressure, reinforces your immune system, stabilizes your mood, and maintains overall wellness. Each person has different sexual needs, and there is no one standard for everyone; however, feeling disinterested in sexual intimacy when you had interest before is a warning sign that should not be ignored. Being close to someone and sharing sexual intimacy is important to your health, both physically and emotionally.


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