top of page

Mind Blowing Intimacy


One difficult phrase and concept that I try to get my clients to understand is “mind-blowing intimacy.” This is no surprise as we are inundated with “mind-blowing sex” on reality TV, in magazines, on the Internet, and in movies. “Mind-blowing sex” gets the highest media ratings, as well as most couples’ attention. In truth, “mind-blowing sex” is nothing compared to “mind-blowing intimacy.” In real life, “mind-blowing sex” cannot save a marriage, nor can the lack of it destroy one. “Mind-blowing intimacy” can save a marriage and the lack of it can destroy a marriage.

Many of us are confused because we think the two are one in the same. They are not. Intimacy must come first in a healthy relationship or the relationship will not be well supported. I have worked with many couples who told me (while in the process of divorce) that the sex was still good, but there was no intimacy anymore. Women have a tendency to give men a bad rap in this area. Women generalize men. They believe men don’t care about intimacy and just want sex. This is not what I see in my office. In fact, when a man over 30 years of age is not happy in his marriage, it usually stems from a lack of intimacy. Men report that when their wife has sex just for him, but isn’t into it for herself, it is not meaningful. This is a clear example of him wanting more intimacy.

How did we get so far away from intimacy? Part of the reason is due to the virtual world. We connect through emails, texts, Facebook, Twitter, and other social networks. We no longer have to meet each other. Even the telephone takes more time than we are willing to commit. We don’t touch anymore at home and we forget to check in with each other while at work. We don’t take time to share meals together, and we are in such a hurry to get our errands run, and our work done, that we have stopped listening to one another. Following that, sex is a sterile performance, and something we need to do to keep each other happy.

Marital or relationship happiness is dependent upon intimacy, as is our health. The media may not promote it, but go to your doctor with a heart problem, cancer, stress related illness, or sexual dysfunction and they are going to tell you that becoming more intimate in your relationship will help you heal. When couples haven’t had sex in a long while or they are estranged, they come in complaining about how to have sex again, as it feels awkward. This is not uncommon, but my approach may be. I join their marriage team and ask each of them to begin by telling each other what intimacy means to them. By putting sex on the sideline for a while (since it really isn’t the problem anyway), they can begin to be intimate with each other.

Here are suggestions of how you can develop “mind blowing intimacy” in your marriage:

  • Have protected time built into your schedule that is just for the two of you.

  • Listen without interrupting. Before you respond, make sure you censor it so it is true, but still kind.

  • Choose one day of the week and take note of how many times you ask your partner to do something, help with something, or provide you with something. Focus on being the giver instead and actually do and say the things your spouse would appreciate.

  • Watch an old movie or listen to old songs, and talk with your spouse about how the movie or song touched you.

  • Go to bed and focus on pleasing the other person, whatever that is…don’t make it about you and your needs. Touching goes a long way with building intimacy.

  • When you are in a crowd or getting attention, make sure you make eye contact with your spouse more than you do the crowd.

  • Tell your spouse frequently what you admire and love about them.

  • Ask your spouse for help with your weaknesses instead of defending them.

  • Revisit the town or restaurant you use to frequent as a new couple. Talk about it and share your first impressions. Tell your spouse how you were feeling at this time. Help them connect to you.

  • When your partner is “down,” no one has more power to build them up or knock them down more than you. Make sure you hold them and tell them you are on their side, and you will beat this together as a team.

Commitment in a relationship is so important, but no one can commit if there isn’t a connection to commit to. Keep working toward and building that connection with intimacy. Everything, including your marriage survival, health and mind blowing sex is dependent on the intimate connection you share with your partner. Intimacy, NOT sex, is the true “Mind Blower,” in a relationship.

75 Comments


Right Consultancy
Right Consultancy
16 hours ago

Logistics Management is critical to keeping supply chains running smoothly. It involves planning, executing, and controlling the flow of goods. Effective logistics management helps reduce costs and improve customer satisfaction. It ensures products arrive on time and in good condition. Businesses benefit from better inventory management, leading to increased efficiency. Clear communication among teams and partners is essential in this process. Technology plays a major role, streamlining operations and tracking shipments. A well-structured logistics strategy can boost a company's competitiveness. Choosing the right consultancy can make a significant difference. They can provide expert insights and tailored solutions for your needs. Don't underestimate the impact of professional guidance. Contact the Right Consultancy for help in optimizing your logistics management today. Take…

Like

Peter Williams
Peter Williams
20 hours ago

What is the best airline to fly to Japan? For a premium experience, airlines like Japan Airlines and All Nippon Airways consistently rank among the best, offering world-class hospitality, spacious seating, and authentic Japanese cuisine. Both carriers are renowned for their punctuality and attention to detail, making them top choices for flights to Japan.

Like

Liza Martin
Liza Martin
a day ago

MakeAssignmentHelp is a leading provider of academic assistance, specializing in history assignment. With a team of experienced professionals, we ensure that students receive well-researched and high-quality history assignments. Our experts dive into historical events, providing detailed analysis and insightful perspectives. We understand the challenges students face in comprehending vast historical topics, so we offer tailored support to make history assignments easier to handle. Whether you need help with specific historical periods, research, or essay writing, our history assignment services are designed to help you achieve top grades with ease.

Like

lucas robert
lucas robert
a day ago

This format can make your feedback stand out more clearly, highlighting specific aspects you appreciated.<a href=https://srislawyer.com/abogado-de-trafico-mecklenburg-va/>abogado trafico mecklenburg va</a> These lawyers give their clients crucial advice in high-stakes situations because they have a thorough understanding of both criminal law and delicate legal matters.

Like

Manav Saini
Manav Saini
a day ago

New Zealand offers a promising landscape for nurses seeking international career opportunities, especially those who may not have completed the IELTS exam. With a growing demand for skilled healthcare professionals, the country has adopted flexible measures to attract and retain overseas nurses. These opportunities include alternative language proficiency assessments and tailored recruitment processes to streamline applications for qualified candidates. Employers and healthcare institutions in New Zealand acknowledge that many international nurses possess extensive experience and English-language skills gained through their education or previous employment in English-speaking environments. For such candidates, proof of English-language competence can often be demonstrated without relying solely on standardized tests like IELTS. Instead, applicants may provide certifications from English-medium institutions, undergo proficiency evaluations during interviews, or…

Like
Categories
Archive
Follow Us
  • Facebook Basic Square
  • Twitter Basic Square
  • Google+ Basic Square

© Mary Jo Rapini LPC. Proudly created with Wix.com

bottom of page