Infidelity Isn’t The Only Action That Destroys Trust
Most couples consider honesty and trust to be the most crucial qualities in a potential partner. When trust is shattered during dating, the immediate assumption is often infidelity. While cheating is a major factor in breaching trust, it's not the sole contributor. Upon honest self-reflection, one may be surprised at the ways trust is eroded for a partner on a daily basis. Despite apologies, each instance of breaking a partner's trust weakens the fabric of the marriage.
Notably, couples on the brink of divorce aren't always there due to an affair. Instead, more common are small, repeated breaches of trust over time. The final rupture in the marriage is not necessarily the most egregious offense but the last one that the betrayed partner can tolerate.
If you're reading this article, chances are you've experienced or caused small breaches of trust. Below are several actions that can bruise a partner's willingness to trust:
Engaging in an addictive habit despite promises to quit.
Failing to follow through on promises.
Avoiding responsibility for problems and blaming the partner.
Withholding love and affection due to mood or anger.
Speaking negatively about the partner behind their back.
Complaining about the partner in front of others, causing embarrassment.
Prioritizing the phone over the partner.
While one may consider these behaviors insignificant, they significantly impact the level of trust in a relationship. Signs of eroded trust include:
Increased partner suspicion leading to control.
Decreased emotional vulnerability and a diminished interest in sex.
Partner disbelief and heightened criticism, potentially leading to insecurity and a higher likelihood of leaving the relationship.
If you recognize trust issues in your relationship, it's crucial to address them openly. Initiate a conversation with your partner, seeking their perspective on the situation and understanding where you may have fallen short. If your partner is also contributing to the trust issues, discuss their willingness to make changes.
Consider seeking therapy, either individually or as a couple, to navigate the trust issues. Compile a list of instances where trust was broken and bring it to therapy to foster a constructive and non-defensive environment. Therapy can help strengthen the relationship and work collaboratively on weak areas. Make necessary changes in your relationship by addressing unresolved issues from your past. If you carry negative examples or burdens from your family into your relationship, it may weigh it down unnecessarily. Identify and work on creating new habits to ensure a successful future.
Finally, co-create boundaries with your partner to prevent future betrayals once you've acknowledged your contributions to the lack of trust. A healthy relationship is built on trust, and without it, a relationship cannot thrive.