There is no perfect marriage and all marriages need constant attention to keep them vibrant and alive. Years of working with couples has taught me the number one reason marriages fall apart is because partners stop listening and paying attention to each other. When someone feels as though what they say or feel doesn’t matter, they learn to protect themselves from getting hurt. They achieve this by giving up on expressing their emotional needs. Once this happens the couple los

It seems ironic, but for the first time in marriage history, your risk for divorce is higher as you age. This is especially true if you’re 55 years or older. What’s behind this new trend? It’s multi-faceted. Millennials are cohabiting and delaying marriage until later in life, which is the reason their divorce rate has lowered. Meanwhile, couples that have been together for 20 years or more are divorcing. Here are a few reasons: Second or multiple marriages have a greater ris

Many men worry about their wives or spouses changing them, but rarely do they talk about trying to change their partner. That doesn’t mean there are things they’d like to change though, especially if it improves the relationships. Across my many years of counseling, I have noticed there are some common grievances, which I compiled into a list. Ladies, if you are trying to improve your relationship, resolving these four issues within yourself would be a healthy place to begin.

Oversharing has happened to many couples. Every couple has their own boundaries, and sometimes they aren’t communicated clearly. Couples rarely consider the question, “How much of ‘us’ are we open to sharing?” In our grandparents and parents’ generation, this line was clearer. If you wanted to share news, you did so on a party line through your phone or went out with friends and talked face-to-face. Since the internet didn’t exist as it does now, there was less chance of an e

After the recent split between Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux, many are curious why the couple who appeared to be perfect for each other weren’t successful in marriage. They had dated seven years prior to marriage and were inseparable, but after one year into their marriage, they decided to end it. What happened? They both report to still care for each other very much and talk to each other daily, but they realize a marriage takes more. Aniston and Theroux were very diff

No matter who you are or where your relationship is at, you can improve it by making small but powerful changes. Experts in the field of psychology and relationships agree on several tips, and these are my top five. Reminding yourself that the health of your relationship starts with you is the first step to creating one you love being part of. Practice better listening.  Most couples believe they are good listeners and hear their partner, but real listening is about understan

Relationships are complicated, and the longer you live with someone, the more annoying their quirks and behaviors can become. What if I told you the things that annoyed you most about your partner were issues you had and were blindly projecting onto your partner? For example, let’s say your partner goes to bed after leaving a mess in the kitchen. You end up forfeiting time in bed with them to clean up and then go to bed feeling resentful and angry. First thing in the morning,

The summer may mean more relaxed schedules for kids, but for parents it means the kids are around 24/7. If you’re like many parents, you don’t wake up alone with your partner; you wake up with at least one kid in your bed. You may have been able to find quiet time with your partner while the kids were at school or a school-related activity, but this becomes more difficult in the summer when kids are always home. Finding time for the two of you is one of the most complicated a

I see couples every day who are referred for help with their intimacy and sex life. There are numerous medications and treatments that can help minimize sexual dysfunctions. Resolving past conflicts and resentments can also spark a tired sex life. Methods, such as breathing deeply, meditation, and yoga, can improve libido and sexual intimacy. One method that is rarely talked about is prayer. The great thing about prayer is that you can do it together anywhere. The important p

It’s easy to feel frustrated and a little down when your coupled friends are telling you about their Valentine’s Day plans. Although it doesn’t seem to bother you any other time of the year, there’s something about Valentine’s Day that makes you feel nostalgic or alone. However, it’s not having a partner that makes Valentine’s Day great – it’s feeling loved. You can still feel loved by celebrating self-care and making others feel special. Below are five ways to make yourself