Why Spring Flowers Actually Bloom Break-Ups
Spring represents new growth and fresh starts as people plant flowers and clean out their closets. Some people are cleaning out their relationships, too, since Facebook data analysts found that breakups are more common in the spring. Both counselors and family lawyers can affirm there are more divorces in the spring with the majority happening in March.
Science suggests that the high number of break-ups is due to several reasons:
Increased activity in the brain’s pineal gland produces less sleep-inducing hormones, such as melatonin, in the longer, sunnier days of spring and summer.
The springtime attitude of rebirth and increased energy makes people want to start over and begin a new relationship.
Spring is nicer weather, encouraging people to be out socializing more and, thus, meet new people.
If you are going through a breakup this spring, there is reason to grieve but not give up on love. Many relationships that were not solid enough to endure the “springtime rebirth” were too emotionally immature to endure the hardships of a healthy, long-term relationships. Here are five common reasons why people lose desire for their partner and fall apart in the spring.
No shared vision for the relationship. When partners don’t align and share a common vision, they begin pulling apart from one another and questioning why they are together. You can’t stay together simply because your family or friends like your partner. If you feel that there is no direction in the relationship, you lose interest in a relationship together.
One partner has low self-confidence. If you’re dating someone with a low self-confidence, they require constant validation and reassurance; this grows overwhelming for the partner who essentially must take care of you. Both partners need to be emotionally healthy for a relationship to work.
One partner smothers their partner. Healthy partners don’t need another person to make them feel whole. They chose a life partner because they want to share their life with that one person. If you feel as though you cannot sustain yourself without a partner, that puts incredible pressure on the relationship. It won’t work if one partner feels smothered by the other’s needs.
One partner is going through a difficult life situation. Sometimes a relationship doesn’t work simply because it’s bad timing. One partner may be too distracted and overwhelmed to commit effort into the relationship. You can care about someone but not totally understand what their personal situation is. Unfortunately, this is the group that more than likely will “ghost” or “bench” their partner if dating. What’s important in moving forward from this type of relationship is not second guessing but rather accepting you cannot know another’s situation unless they are honest and tell you. More than likely the breakup had little to do with you, and everything to do with your partner.
The relationship was too much, too soon. Hot and heavy romances fizzle out sooner rather than later. Healthy relationships create space to get to know each other, become good friends, and then form a committed relationship. When people give everything away up front and make everything about physical intimacy, there is not enough depth to help the relationship grow. This can be an especially hurtful break up because one or both partners may feel used. Focus on creating a friendship and prevent this from happening to you.
Spring is a time for rebirth and new love. Enjoying the weather and takin time to get to know each other before making a commitment or empty promises can help secure that what you have together will not be vulnerable to the seasons for their success.