Relationship Problems You Can’t Fix

When you’ve been with someone for a while, hoping to marry them or commit to a long-term relationship, it’s difficult to leave when you encounter problems that cannot be resolved. Sometimes, you convince yourself that things will improve once you get married or when your partner becomes more mature. However, these thoughts are often excuses to hold on to someone who isn’t marriage material.

Realizing that the person you’ve dated, shared your life with for over a year, and perhaps even moved in with is not “the one” can be deeply upsetting. It may feel like you’ve wasted time, been used, or settled for something that wasn’t in your best interest. Your friends and family might have told you that your partner isn’t the right match, and their opinions may have caused you to hold on tighter. But not every relationship problem can be fixed. The sooner you face the truth and end the relationship, the less likely it is to damage your self-esteem. In fact, within a few months, you may feel more confident in your decision. Leaving isn’t giving up or a sign of weakness; it’s about recognizing the signs and giving both yourself and your partner grace while moving forward.

Here are four relationship issues that cannot be fixed:

1. Lack of Fidelity: If your partner treats your relationship carelessly by flirting with others or cheating, this is an unfixable problem. A partner who cheats is showing you that they cannot be trusted. This behavior is not your fault; it is a flaw in their character. Instead of waiting for them to change, tell them you deserve better. Explain that you want a partner who is emotionally strong enough to stay committed and faithful. You don’t need to elaborate further—they’re not good marriage material.

   
   

2. Abuse or Harmful Behavior: Does your partner insult you, either to your face or behind your back? Are they willing to harm you emotionally or physically to protect themselves? If your partner engages in actions like yelling, demeaning you, or punishing you emotionally, these are forms of abuse. If they do it once, they will likely do it again. Report physical abuse to authorities to prevent others from falling into the same trap, but most importantly, end the relationship. You cannot fix an abuser or someone willing to harm you for their own gain.

   
   

3. Incompatible Views on Having Children: If you and your partner disagree about having children, this is a significant issue. Don’t assume your partner will change their mind, or worse, try to change it by becoming pregnant accidentally. It’s unfair to bring a child into the world when only one parent wants them, and it’s dishonest to manipulate your partner. Similarly, if you decide not to have children because your partner doesn’t want them, you may grow resentful, creating a miserable marriage. Both partners need to agree on this fundamental life choice.

   
   

4. Mismatched Values: What are your core values, and how do they align with your partner’s? When sharing a life together, you need to share values, goals, and a vision for the future. Without shared values, you’ll face more conflict, criticism, and emotional distance. You cannot expect to mold your partner after marriage. Agreeing on primary values is one of the most significant contributors to marital satisfaction and long-term success.

If you recognize any of these issues in your relationship, it’s in both your and your partner’s best interests to end things with forgiveness and grace. Forgive yourself for staying too long or tolerating behaviors that left you feeling disconnected and undervalued. Some relationship problems simply cannot be fixed. By acknowledging this reality, you can save yourself years of frustration, anger, and resentment. Choose a better life for yourself and your partner. Let go of the relationship with compassion and look forward to a future where you can build a healthy, fulfilling partnership.