Is Cheating in Your DNA? What Science Says About Infidelity

When someone discovers their partner has cheated, they are often overwhelmed and heartbroken. It can feel impossible to believe their partner would make such a devastating choice. In an effort to make sense of what happened, they may search for any possible explanation—including the question: Is cheating inherited?

This question is especially common among individuals who know their partner grew up in a home where infidelity occurred. It seems reasonable to wonder: if a person was raised by a parent who cheated and then goes on to cheat themselves, could there be a genetic or inherited component?

As a therapist, I’ve noticed this pattern as well. People who grew up with a parent who cheated may be more likely to cheat in their own relationships. However, from a scientific standpoint, there is no conclusive evidence that a single "cheating gene" exists. Instead, it’s far more likely that multiple factors—both genetic and environmental—play a role.

• Genes and Personality: Some researchers point to dopaminergic genes, which are linked to novelty-seeking behavior. Individuals with these genes may be more prone to risk-taking and a desire for sexual novelty, which could include cheating. Similarly, certain personality traits associated with infidelity—such as narcissism, impulsiveness, and low conscientiousness—do have genetic components. However, these traits are also shaped by a person’s environment and life experiences. It’s entirely possible for someone to possess these traits and still choose not to cheat.

  
  

• Attachment Theory and Environmental Influence: Attachment Theory suggests that individuals raised in environments where infidelity was present may develop insecure or anxious attachment styles. Cheating might feel familiar to them, as it reflects the dynamic relationships they observed growing up. As a result, they may unconsciously replicate those patterns in their own relationships.

• The Bottom Line: Cheating Is a Choice: While these theories offer insight into why someone might be more inclined toward cheating, they do not determine behavior. No one is destined to cheat. Humans are complex, and infidelity is ultimately a choice—one influenced by many factors, including personal values, character, and self-awareness.

If you come from a family where cheating occurred, this awareness can empower you. Use it to build strong boundaries and intentionally protect your relationship from infidelity. Your parents' actions don’t define your future—unless you choose to ignore what you’ve learned. When you consciously break unhealthy patterns and redefine your values, you can change the course of your life and marriage.