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Falling Back in Love When You Have Fallen Out

Standing at the altar on your wedding day you cannot imagine ever falling out of love with your new spouse. However, couples who have long. successful marriages know that a loving relationship is all about falling in and out of love. Love changes and manifests in different ways and it’s learning to trust your partner and appreciate the different forms of love that make long-term relationships so valuable to your well-being.

There is a famous quote that says, “It’s not where you go in life, but who you go with that matters most,” and in that spirit I am encouraging couples to recommit and revise their relationship. If your marriage has felt the brunt of family stress during the pandemic, taking time to talk, reconnect, and fall back in love will enhance your mental and physical health. Below are five suggestions that show your partner that you love them and, given the choice, you’d choose them all over again.

  1. Love notes scattered around the house. Write on 10 post-it notes what you love most about them and stick them up around the house.

  2. Schedule a date night and make it special. DoorDash or Uber Eats can deliver later at night when the children are in bed.

  3. Send flirty texts throughout the day. When your partner receives flirty texts from you, they feel wanted and appreciated.

  4. Pay more attention to your partner than your screens. Eye contact is so important for couples in love. Falling back in love means falling back and looking into their eyes again.

  5. Plan a vacation for just the two of you. The pandemic has limited travel, but research shows that even when couples plan an adventure together, it renews love.

When I counsel couples that have been together for years, it reminds me of the important ability to fall in and out of love in marriage. If you feel as though you have fallen out, avoid thinking the worst and instead try to show your partner acts of love. Trust the relationship to help you fall back in. A successful relationship is a journey; appreciate the one who commits to traveling with you.


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