5 Silent (but Common) Marriage Killers

The foundation for divorce often forms long before the event itself. Small, unresolved issues can accumulate over time, creating an atmosphere of negativity and contempt. Unfortunately, many couples don’t seek help until it’s too late. By the time they pursue professional guidance, trust and commitment may already be severely compromised.

If you are worried about your marriage or struggling in your relationship, addressing these silent practices with your partner and working to change them now can prevent your marriage from developing a shaky foundation where divorce becomes an option.

1. Taking Marriage for Granted. Getting married doesn’t mean the work is over—it’s just the beginning. No matter how well you get along, nurturing your marriage requires ongoing effort. Each day, focus on small gestures to make your partner feel loved and valued. Honor the promises in your wedding vows by prioritizing your partner and your relationship above all other commitments. This consistent attention will enhance the quality of your marriage.

2. Avoiding Difficult Conversations. Avoiding tough conversations can lead to resentment. When couples sweep problems under the rug instead of addressing them, barriers form that are difficult to remove. A close, healthy relationship requires the ability to discuss and resolve challenging issues together. Schedule quiet time to talk openly about concerns and brainstorm solutions. This creates an atmosphere of teamwork and strengthens your bond.

3. Neglecting Quality Time Together. Spending meaningful time together is essential in marriage. Regularly check in with your partner to ensure they feel valued and connected. If your partner expresses feeling neglected, listen and take steps to prioritize one-on-one time. Shared activities and moments of relaxation demonstrate to your partner that they matter and remain your top priority.

4. Struggling to Communicate Effectively. Strong communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship. Understanding when your partner is open to communication—or when stress might make them less receptive—is critical. Speaking lovingly and listening attentively are key components of effective communication. If communication frequently breaks down or if you find yourselves misinterpreting each other, consider seeking help from a marriage counselor or attending a marriage retreat. Strengthening communication skills is an investment in your relationship that pays lifelong dividends.

5. Failing to Share Responsibilities. In marriage, responsibilities must be shared. When one partner carries most of the emotional or physical workload, they are likely to feel stressed and resentful. Create a list of tasks and delegate them fairly. If you have children, involve them in household chores to lighten the load. A balanced partnership fosters contentment, and when one partner is overwhelmed, the other should step up to provide support.

Address these issues early—ideally before marriage—and revisit them regularly to keep your relationship strong. Keep a visible reminder of these points to prompt behavior changes if you notice problematic patterns emerging.

Divorce should not be the default solution for marital challenges. Instead, recognize issues as opportunities to work together and find solutions. Marriage isn’t easy, but the effort you invest is invaluable. A healthy, thriving marriage is one of the greatest gifts you can give to each other and to your children.