The loneliest most of us ever feel is when we are with someone we don’t care for. A bad date or a bad marriage can make us feel isolated and unloved. Even still, many people go out with people they don’t have feelings for to avoid being alone for New Year’s Eve. After all, who wants to be home alone on New Year’s Eve? According to our culture, it's the one night you are supposed to go out and have an adventure or a kiss to bring in the new year.
One of the reasons we don’t want to be alone is because we don’t understand how healing and enjoyable an evening alone can be. If you are going to be alone this New Year’s Eve, begin now to make it special. Remember that if you decide to spend New Year's Eve with someone you have no interest in, you’ll feel more miserable and lonely the next day.
Tips to make your New Year’s Eve alone special:
1. Call an old friend who is far away and that you rarely get to see. Spend some time talking on the phone, watch New Year’s Eve specials together, and reminisce on the year gone by and discuss what’s ahead. If your friend is going out at night, it’s okay to call her or him early in the day. Sometimes the voice brings back memories better than writing, so calling actually makes you feel closer and less alone.
2. Plan a nice meal for yourself. Most of the time we plan dinner for two when we want to impress someone. How about impressing yourself? If you don’t cook, make plans at a special restaurant you have always wanted to try. Go early to avoid long lines. Take a book or something to read if you are worried about eating alone. When you are alone, people are less intimidated and will be more likely to start-up a conversation with you. Don’t forget that a really good glass of wine can be a nice way to enjoy your dinner. Splurge on yourself.
3. Invest in a new hobby to begin New Year’s Eve - maybe a new book, a lesson guide for playing the guitar, or an app to learn a foreign language. New Year’s Eve is a good time to think about an area you would like to develop more in the future. Finding a book about fitness or nutrition is a wonderful way to begin the New Year. When we exercise and eat better we have more confidence; when we have more confidence, we appreciate ourselves more.
4. Explore new websites after dinner. Get online, watch funny YouTube videos or movies, or listen to podcasts you’ve wanted to listen to but didn’t have time for. Although it may be 10 p.m. in your time zone, it may be midnight somewhere else. Consider being the first to tell others “Happy New Year.” Get online.
5. If you cannot stand to be alone, consider hosting a party for everyone you know who is single. When you have others around who have a lifestyle you share, it is much easier to feel connected. Good friends are always a better option than being with someone who bores you or doesn’t respect you. Just remember, if they drink (and many do on New Year’s Eve), you will need to help make arrangements for them to get home safely. Friends don’t let friends drive intoxicated. Period!
6. Take a hot bath with bubbles. Enjoy soft lighting, a glass of champagne, and good music. You don’t need to be with someone else to relax and feel good about your own body. While relaxing in the water, remind yourself how fortunate you have been and be thankful. Begin to imagine your new year. Thank your body for all it has done for you this year.
7. If being alone this year for New Year’s Eve is too scary, try a getaway. Go somewhere you have always wanted to go and explore it fully. Getting away distracts you from not having someone to share the evening with. It also is a good way to learn more about yourself and others!
The most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself. How well you get along with yourself determines the success you have relating to others. New Year’s Eve is the perfect evening to begin exploring and celebrating you. You aren’t half a person looking for your other half; you’re already a whole person. Respect yourself enough to value who you choose to date. You’ll wake up feeling invigorated, inspired, and grateful you didn’t succumb to the pressure of having a date for New Year’s Eve.