It’s natural to want to share photos and updates of the ones you love with others. Many of us look at happy couples online and compare, wondering if their relationship is happier or deeper than ours. However, research from Northwestern University found that individuals who posted excessively about their partner on social media felt more insecure with their relationship. Although their posts are full of smiling faces and inside jokes, it can often hide a lack of communication or commitment. Social media is notorious for making us look good on the outside while needing work on the inside, covering up imperfections with filters.
No relationship is perfect, and the research supports that happy couples are not looking for other’s approval or validation. You may find it helpful to evaluate your need to frequently post status updates with your partner. Insight always begins with awareness of one’s motivation to do an action. Below are 5 common reasons that secure and genuinely happy couples do not post continuous updates about their relationship on social media.
Posting excessively about your partner can signal that you need other’s validation. When you love someone, you know you can trust them. They treat you with respect and their actions support their words making them reliable, trustworthy, and loyal.
When you’re happy in a real relationship, you don’t have time or interest in social media. Happy couples are busy living their real life. They don’t post frequent relationship updates on social media because their interests lie in what they are creating together.
Happy couples keep better boundaries and are reluctant to share about their partner. The stronger the couple’s boundaries regarding what is posted on social media, the better the communication between the couple. Blurred boundaries cause increased relationship conflict.
Happier couples don’t rely on “likes” to complete them. Healthy people realize there is more to each of them than the relationship between the two of them. When you post excessively about your partner on social media, you’re telling the world that this relationship is your life. Nourishing all parts of yourself keep you interesting and invested in your own life.
Couples who were happier stayed off social media in general. The Happiness Research Institute reported on an experiment they did with 1, 095 people. After one week of removing Facebook from the treatment group’s usage, overall life satisfaction was higher. This was consistent with their perspective on intimate relationships as well. Scores of depression, anger, and anxiety decreased significantly.
If you want a better relationship, invest more time with each other and less with what you post online. The healthiest relationships are between two people. They aren’t based on “likes” or comments; they are based on co-creating a relationship you value and love being part of.