New Year’s brings out the optimist in all of us. We write a list of things we’re going to do differently to become a better version of ourselves. Whether it’s your weight, your work habits, or your parenting, everyone has things to work on. Improving your relationship may not be at the top of your list, but it should be. Every relationship needs to be nurtured for it to improve.
The majority of couples linger in relationships they’re not satisfied with because they don’t think it’s possible to change their situation. However, if you don’t get discouraged and you make it a priority, change is very possible. When therapists ask clients why they didn’t make changes in their troubled relationship earlier, they usually hear one of three answers:
It seemed too complicated for a simple resolution or modification.
Couples gave up on feeling romantic or passion toward each other.
Couples believed the problem was their partner and since their partner wouldn’t change the situation won’t either.
Couples who have successful relationships see things differently. They believe they are equal partners in creating a relationship they can both love being a part of. Below are best practices for successful relationships. Begin the New Year practicing these “resolutions,” and your relationship will begin moving in a more positive direction.
Appreciate one another. Couples who love their relationship feel appreciated in their relationship. Studies show that making a conscious effort to say three appreciative comments a day to your partner actually motivates them to be kinder and more generous with their affection. It works both ways, but successful couples don’t wait for their partner to say thanks; they live it and reap the rewards.
Have a consistent date night. Unless you live under a rock, you’ve heard about the importance of “date night.” Successful couples schedule one date a week to be out on an exclusive date enjoying each other.
Talk to each other. Couples who are happy together spend more time talking to each other. Busy schedules, kids activities, and life in general can have you so preoccupied you postpone talking times. Don’t allow anything to rob you of this valuable time. Just 30 minutes a day helps restore intimacy.
Seek help from a professional during rocky times. Successful couples aren’t afraid to become better partners. They also are quicker to seek professional help when their relationship hits a bump. Just like any health issue, the longer couples ignore the problem the more difficult it is to help the couple repair the damage done.
No two relationships are the same, just as no two people are the same. Talk to your partner and get started on living and loving the relationship you’re in.