Going back to school can be difficult for both parents and students. Mary Jo discusses some of the issues parents will experience and how to help your child transition through them.

Are your kids acting a little bit crankier? Are you noticing they seem more irritable or moody? They could be reacting to the imminent summer's end and visualizing tests, homework, teacher's concerned expressions, and fitting in with a new group of friends. Even kids who enjoy school need time to adjust to transitions from elementary school to junior high and from junior high to high school.

So besides setting up physical exams, last minute dentist's appointments, eye doctor exams, and loads and loads of supplies don't forget to get your child ready emotionally for these important transitions. Remember even though it is your child who has to "walk through" these transitions as a parent you will have your "walk through" also. What are your expected jobs for the new school year? Well here are a few to be expected as your child transitions into junior high and high school. You will be a 'Cheerleader, Chauffeur, Chaperone (yep...dating starts), Committee Member, and Volunteer.. Yes and in addition to this you will also be a husband/wife, mother/father, career woman/man, and or whatever else is on your plate. As you can see this is going to be a transition for the whole family.

What makes these transitions so difficult? The first and perhaps most important is that during adolescence the brain grows at different rates. This creates a rhythm of intellectual spurts and plateaus. For example if your child never had trouble with algebra before they may be stumped now because the abstract skills have not kicked in yet. This leads to frustration. Secondly doing well in school at this age may not be as important as being popular. Many times the two are not highly correlated. Then don't forget that the opposite sex becomes very important. Many times being in Junior High or High School is like watching your favorite soap opera. Lots of drama and drama distracts. Many families are raising their adolescents in "complicated times". Divorces, blended families, grandparents' poor health all mean less stability. Less stability often times means more distraction and less focus on academic performance. Underneath all of this is a degree
of anxiety for almost every child during this transition. This anxiety is heightened by a deep need to be accepted and "fit in". If a parent doesn't focus on anything else they would be wise to try and focus on helping their child deal with their fear of entering Junior High or High School and feeling confident in themselves. Confidence and a belief that you can succeed usually precipitates doing well socially and academically.

How can a parent help their child to achieve confidence and a belief that they can succeed during this transition? Teachers agree that parents should become a BAA. What does this stand for? Back-up (the child can always lean on you during rough times). Advocate, (you and your child are working together for the same goal..their success) and Audience (sometimes those stories will get old, but listen anyway and always clap). When talking to successful children who made the transitions with more ease here are a couple of ideas they gave to me.

1. *STAY INFORMED. Many parents think their children don't listen or don't care about what they think. This is untrue. When children were asked who the most important person was for them at the age of 12 to 17 the majority replied it was their parents. Parents' need to know what is going on in their children's lives. Listen, Listen, Listen.
2. PREPARE YOUR CHILD FOR LEARNING. Parents' should have a curfew, and make sure their child is getting enough sleep. Make sure they have the equipment they need to succeed (computers, paper, ink, and printer). Make a rule about cell phones off at an appropriate time at night. Be consistent with "family rules".
3. MAINTAIN HIGH EXPECTATIONS. Basically we get what we ask for. If you did not make demands in elementary school starting now will be a challenge. Talk with your child in regards to their ability and what they can expect. If the parent models the importance of education the child will too.
4. NUTURE YOUR ADOLESCENT. Hug your adolescent, and tell them how important they are to you. All kids need to hear this. When they seem really stressed take the time to listen to them and share with them times you felt the same. Encourage them with reminding them other times they faced difficulties and came through. This means a lot to teens.