Recently, a couple who I will call Eric and Sandra (the names have been changed to protect their privacy) came to me for counseling because they were on the brink of divorce and had a small child. I was very concerned about them because both Eric and Sandra's parents were divorced, so they needed a mentor and a therapist to reassure and guide them. I received a letter from Sandra, after just one visit, detailing their progress. With Sandra's permission, I'd like to share the letter with you. I think it will give hope to those going through a similar situation.

Just wanted to give you an update on our progress after the session we had with you. Two Sundays have passed since then and we've made our date nights that night.... we ordered some products from one of the websites you suggested and took a bath, then practiced touching each other. It was awesome! First of all, Eric had always said that he was not that keen on baths, but I got some good smelling bubble bath and lit candles everywhere and he loved it! It was great.

We have had sex a few times since we saw you (like 2 or 3 times). We did not set out to do it, but we were both feeling really comfortable and relaxed and it just felt right, so we did. The really cool thing is that we have been communicating so much more, and so much more honestly, since we met with you. I guess that is the most important factor. It feels really great now when Eric touches me, even oral sex has been extremely pleasurable (and it was not like that before we saw you).

Communicating more effectively seems to have set the stage for us to be able to just feel better about every aspect of our marriage. I feel like Eric is making more of an effort to speak what is on his mind instead of holding it in. And I am working hard to recognize when I am being a brat :-). Or really negative. Or just relying on him too much to be my only outlet for adult communication throughout the day (since I'm home with the baby). I have reached out to my friends a lot more and made more social plans, which I think is good for both of us for sure ( I get out and talk to friends much more so I'm not attention starved and depleted when Eric gets home from work). Also I have been trying to be more positive about my body and feel more confident which makes me feel sexier and that helps a lot.

Anyway, just wanted to thank you very much for the great insight and tools you gave us. At this point I think we are doing like a million times better. If we need to schedule another session we surely will but I am hopeful that we are on the right track, Eric agrees.

Any thoughts of course would be appreciated.

Sincerely,
Sandra