Studies show that one out of every two marriages will end in divorce. There are many reasons for this, but one of the main culprits is that when things change in the relationship (such as having children) couples forget to adjust and prioritize. Your marriage has to take top priority if you want it to withstand the test of children. When you have children you must let go of the concept of having everything planned. Learn to take advantage of spontaneous times, such as naptime. This is a perfect time to leave the dishes in the sink or the dirty laundry. Instead, grab your spouse and make the most of your extra moments.

3 Reasons Intimacy Dies After Children

• It is difficult for women to value their role as a lover as much as being a mother. Making this transition is very difficult. Society values motherhood much more than they do a wife or a lover. One thing you can do to ease this transition is to be careful not to call your partner "daddy" or "mommy." Call them by the same name or pet name you always did. Once you begin to label your spouse as mommy or daddy it is difficult for you to think of them as your lover, and you begin to value their parent role more than their role as your lover or spouse.
• The routine of being a parent can get in the way of spending time with your spouse. When you have a child you begin to work together and most of your day (and night) is consumed with the kids. Soon sex and intimacy may become routine—done in the same room, the same way, or both people are too exhausted to have sex. Try making love in a different room or at a different time when the kids are out of the house. Call your spouse at work and surprise them once in awhile by flirting again.  Date night has to be on your calendar once a week, and try to have at least one weekend away every 4 to 6 weeks.
• Couples tend to forget how special their spouse is to them, and taking each other for granted happens to most couples. You don't need to get stuck here though. When you find yourself taking the other spouse for granted it's time to recognize it and do something about it—a favorite meal, dessert, or a kiss when you come home with a simple, "what would I do without you?"  This makes your partner feel loved and appreciated. Don't wait to get that special treatment, rather, focus on giving it.

Life is about balance and many couples become panicked when they feel like they are losing the intimacy in their marriage. The most wonderful aspect of this it that it is POSSIBLE TO GET IT BACK! Life presents many occasions in our lives where we are out of balance. Don't scare yourself if you haven't had sex for a couple of weeks. Simply sit down with your partner and identify steps you can each take to get it back. Divorce is almost 100% avoidable, but it does take awareness and action on your part. Below are a few more tips to help you get your intimacy back on track.

• Make the bedroom your haven. I know when your little cherub comes in at night and says they had a bad dream and asks if they can sleep with you it is easier to let them crawl in—but don't. That night will turn into every night. Pick them up, comfort them, and take them back to bed. Tell them you are keeping everything safe and no one will hurt them. Promise them you will check on them later to make sure they are okay.
• Babysitting does not have to cost money. Talk with your friends and begin taking turns babysitting. This prevents you from paying a sitter for your date night and secures another mom or dad that you can trust. If you cannot do this then talk to your parents or siblings to see if they would be willing to babysit once a week so you can go out for that crucial date night.
• Talk about your sex life with your partner; it's important to have a plan. Make sure you schedule sex on a specific night. Preparing for sex can be so much fun and gives both people something to look forward to. Couples who schedule sex have more sex. Couples who have more sex want more sex.
• Take your time with foreplay. Foreplay should begin before anything else; it is "before-play."  If you have date nights planned beginning at 8p.m., then get the sitter or take the kids to Grandma's at 7p.m. to have that time for yourself to get in the mood to feel sexy and transition from your mom/dad role.

For a long while we have told ourselves myths that children do okay in a mediocre marriage between their parents. But now we know kids thrive and do better when their mom and dad maintain their own love separate from the kids. Nourishing your marriage is the BEST THING you can do for your children.