School bells are ringing and kids are everywhere. Walking to school, getting out of buses, and being dropped off on the curb. The salute from parent to child is the same whether they are going to 4th grade or away to college: "Take care, study hard, and do your best!" Some of the kids look excited and are laughing and jumping while other kids look sad and afraid.

These school jitters did not begin the first day of school. Most likely, they were going on during the last third of the summer. Sometimes parents are so busy with work and vacations that many forget to look for the signs. Did your child act more moody, restless, fatigued, or erratic? Many kids have these feelings and adjust fine after school has started, but 15% do not. These 15% may have difficulty adjusting to the school year and may require parental interventions to help them get on track.

How can you as a parent help your child adjust so they feel confident and capable to handle the requirements for their grade level?

1. Begin by talking to your child and listening. Ask them how they feel about the new school year and if they are nervous about any particular aspect. If they tell you their fears DO NOT try to talk them out of it. Listen and validate how they feel by telling them you can understand how their fears would be worrisome. Then help them write down alternatives they can act on if their fear comes true. For example: if your child is afraid they won't have anyone to sit by during lunch then write down three actions they could take. In this particular example, they could choose to sit with someone, organize a pizza party at their house to meet more kids, or one person they know and call them the night before to make plans to sit together at lunch.

2. Do not ignore signs of distress. If sadness, anxiety, crying, or anorexia goes on longer than two weeks it isn't a stage...it is a problem. Most problems that bring kids to counseling were not serious when they first began. They were denied until they became serious.

3. Plan with your child what supplies they need prior to school—do they need a desk, computer, or quiet area for school work? If your child is going away to school they will be more secure if the structure of their room is complete. Kids away from home do better when they like their room and feel secure there. The same is true for your child at home. Everyone does better when they have their own space to work.

4. Reassure your child to not set their expectations to high. It takes time to get into the groove of a new school year. This is true whether you are in college or junior high. After a short time of adjustment you can raise your expectations as you have more experience to draw from in regards to what is expected.

5. If your child is going away to school stay connected to them, but not intrusive. Let them know you are there and they have a secure home base. Be available, but give them space to work out their problems without intervening unless necessary.

If you notice your child is struggling and not able to cope, begin to talk to your child about visiting a counselor. Many times children do want help, but are afraid to ask. If parents talk to their children and reassure them that a counselor will be helpful, most children can talk a counselor in regards to what they are feeling and how to better handle their concerns.