However cute it may be when your little 4 year old runs naked around the house after bath time shouting "you can't catch me I'm the gingerbread man", many parents wonder when and how to set limits with nudity. I think the most difficult aspect of parenting is learning how to say things to our children so they won't be upset, ashamed or embarrassed—nudity definitely falls into this category.

Puberty is a difficult time for a child and parent. Your daughter can be playing with Barbie dolls in the morning and trying on a bra in the afternoon. In Start Talking, a book that I co-authored with Janine Sherman, we talk about your daughter's body as being her own. She makes decisions for her body and you, as her parent, are going to be her mentor and guide for helping her make these decisions. I tell each girl her body is sacred and only she is allowed to touch or see the intimate parts of her body. The issue of modesty and nudity is the perfect time to begin to teach your daughter about her body. Explain to her that her body is getting prepared for puberty and she can anticipate many changes. Sometimes she will want to play and at other times she will want to be alone and treated like a teen. Sit and talk to your daughter about what she may be feeling at this time. If you are uncomfortable with her nudity tell her why (it may be the way you grew up or something that happened in your past). If her dad is uncomfortable with her nudity explain to her that privacy is becoming more important as she grows older and her body changes. Reassure her that her body is beautiful and she may go nude in her own bedroom, but make public areas in the home off limits for nudity.

Talking points in regards to nudity and modesty to be discussed with your family.

1. Each person is responsible for taking care of their own body. No one is allowed to touch you unless you say it is okay. No one is allowed to see you naked unless you are comfortable with it.
2. All bodies are beautiful. You do not have to look a certain way to be loved or be happy.
3. You must respect other's bodies also. If your brother or sister does not want to be touched, saying "NO" is all they need to say.
4. Each child should have a safe place (off limits to other family members) where they can be assured total privacy.
5. If and when there is a "house rule" about nudity, all members of the family must follow it. If nudity makes your child uncomfortable it is not okay as a parent to walk around nude.