Girls! Show this to your mother!

It is amazing how fast our little girls' are growing up and even frightening at times.Of course telling your daughter not to wear make up is only going to make her want to wear make-up more and she may develop feelings of shame associated with it. Soon your 9 or 10 year old may be putting her make up on when she gets to school to "hide" her activity from you. This will only build another wall in your interaction and communication with her. A better approach would be to go for a walk or sit in an ice cream shop or where ever the two of you go to talk and visit with her WHY she wants to wear make-up. Does it make her feel prettier, more confident about her looks, (this is a difficult time of changes and as the face grows it isn't uncommon for different parts of the face to look exaggerated as compared to other parts) or is she just trying to "fit in"?

Your daughter may be concerned about her skin and she feels like make-up will cover up unsightly acne scars or other flaws. It is important that she feels like she can talk to you honestly about her concerns and that you won't dismiss them as being foolish and not important. If she is concerned about her skin texture or acne it would be wise to see a dermatologist with her.

I also encourage parents to have a "girl's weekend" and take a make-up class together. Many times the reasons young girls over do make up is because they were not taught the "correct way" to administer make-up. They are heavy handed with eye liner and mascara because they copy their peers (who are not taught the correct way) instead of understanding how make-up is mean to enhance their skin and features.

When you talk with your daughter prior to disciplining her or discouraging her from wearing make-up you make it clear to your daughter that you care about how she feels in regards to her looks. She feels supported by you instead of shamed. She feels better about herself because she feels like you understand how she feels. This is a good time to identify how you felt during that time of your life. It is also a good time to tell her how "too much make-up" makes her look and how it may make other's react. Too much make up is not necessarily going to make her look like she is more grown up, the way to achieve looking more grown up is to be confident in your own skin. By listening to your daughter, not judging her, and offering her your support you will be in a much better position to help her build that confidence. Keep talking to your daughter.

MJo