If there were one cure for preventing teen pregnancy we would all take it. Like a pill, we would purchase it and make sure every girl has it. But there is no single cure as there is no single cause for teen pregnancy.

We do know some of the feelings pregnant teens have professed prior to getting pregnant. They talk about feeling lonely and disengaged from their family. They feel as if their existence has nothing to do with the welfare or success of the family. They feel isolated and often express a feeling of not fitting in. Many of these girls are not excelling in school so they feel like they disappoint their parents and are not gifted with academic skills.

What does this have to do with school being out? EVERYTHING. It is the making of a perfect storm. Many parents go to work and if their teen is home she is still sleeping when the parents leave. There is a lack of communication and many parents do not give their teens a list of chores to complete nor do they call to check on them. Many of these working parents don’t even know where their children are during the day.  The child feels isolated, alone and angry at the parent. The anger is based on the teen’s feeling of being worthless and thus is projected on the parent for not being able to structure their life. There is a fantasy that if the daughter has a child then at least someone will love her. Or she may feel like they aren’t capable of doing anything with their life so why not have babies? Lastly, it may be that the girl feels so isolated and alone that if one boy tells her she is special, beautiful, or interesting she falls in love with him very quickly and is pregnant before he can tell her good-bye.

This whole cycle could be prevented if parents realized that teen pregnancy starts in the home:

1. Parents who talk to their children at an early age and continue through the teen years have less teen pregnancies.

2. Parents who stay engaged in their children’s lives have teens who act out less. Being engaged means talking to your teen about their lives, their bodies and empowering them with knowledge. It means encouraging their interests by asking questions and being curious about what they value.

3. Parents who talk to their children in regards to their bodies as they grow and change raise teenagers who are knowledgeable about why their bodies are changing and how this may affect how they are feeling. Hormones are normal as are the feelings that come about due to hormonal changes. Acting on these feelings has consequences.

4. Parents who guide their teens to understand that sex has consequences that can be more easily dealt with when you are older have children who understand the value of waiting.  Parents who guide their teens give them other options besides having sex to secure a relationship so both the boy and girl can feel “connected “ without engaging in an activity that isn’t healthy or safe before the age of eighteen.

5. Parents who try to negotiate and problem solve with their children have teens that are able to come to their parents first when they encounter a problem they aren’t sure how to handle.

Talk to your kids this summer. Make sure you know where they are and who they are with. Spend time with them—take a picnic to work and meet with your daughter or son. Make them understand they are part of a great family which includes them.