Finding Peace with Unreasonable People in the New Year
January 8, 2017
It’s a new year and you’re hoping to resolve the past with unreasonable people and work it out. However, that’s not going to happen no matter how hard you try. Unreasonable people are unreasonable and that means you cannot reason with them; but, you can still find peace by changing the way you communicate with them. Below are a few suggestions that will help. These tactics work with co-workers, exes, and family members who can’t see anyone’s perspective but their own.
Get over the illusion that you can work it out and resolve the issue with an unreasonable person. Unreasonable people cannot see your perspective so give up trying to make yourself and your feelings understood.
Keep them talking; they love hearing themselves talk. The less focus on you and your view the better. For unreasonable people, it’s about winning, which means they have to rebut anything you say.
Anything personal you say will be used against you later. Keep your conversations away from hot topics. They enjoy drama and will create it when possible. Keep your comments direct and logical.
Limit time spent with them. When possible, keep your time with them short. If you’re forced to spend more time with them, use distractions. They are easier to be around when involved in activities, such as attending a sports event, cooking a meal, or engaging in an activity that doesn’t require agreeing.
Understand their unreasonableness is rooted in insecurity. We’re all unreasonable at times, but people who live most of their time being unreasonable have a deep, personal insecurity. Helping them feel secure will help calm the situation.
As the saying goes, everyone has something to teach us. Unreasonable people show us our own weaknesses and insecurities. Understanding what makes you feel vulnerable or intimated through unreasonable people will help you avoid ever acting like one.