Blog entries

Lips Lie, Bodies Tell the Truth

Mary Jo Rapini — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 22:19:17 +0100

Every human tells lies and they lie to save themselves. Unless you are being tortured or threatened that someone will take your life or someone’s life you love, lies are a way to help us feel less guilty, less embarrassed, less responsible for what we did, or vindicated for what we failed to do. When someone is lying to you there is only one person who should be defensive or worried, and that’s the liar. If you are receiving the lie then stepping back, being curious, and detachingRead More...

How Much Praise is Too Much Praise?

Mary Jo Rapini — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 21:48:37 +0100

I was on my run the other day and stopped at the park to get some water. While there I sat on a bench and drank my water, closed my eyes and listened. The happiest sounds in the world are listening to kids as they play: their little voices, screams, imagination, and bargaining with their parents for more time to play. Also, what I heard were a lot of “Mommy was that good?” or “Daddy, see me?” “Did you see that throw?” Mommy and Daddy both responded affirminRead More...

Marriage Has Everything to Do with Education

Mary Jo Rapini — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 03:26:32 +0100

Study after study is shedding light on the perils of dropping out of high school. Besides not being able to make a reasonable living, own your own home, and have a comfortable retirement, you also may never be able to find time to get married. It is projected that within one or two years, less than half of the U.S. adult population will be married. This fact has social implications. The steady decrease in marriage rates is not only changing family values but it is contributing to the family&rRead More...

Your Marital Style May Predict Divorce

Mary Jo Rapini — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 23:36:01 +0100

"A wife says to her husband (or vice versa), "Do you love me?"
"Of course," he replies. "I've been married to you for twenty years, haven't I?"
How satisfied would we be if we presented someone with a vintage wine and, upon asking his opinion of it, he replied, "I'm drinking it, aren't I?"
Love still needs expression between those who share it."-Leo Buscaglia

Within the first two years of your marriage, very important work is being done. Many times, this work is beingRead More...

Months After a Divorce You Didn’t Want

Mary Jo Rapini — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 23:19:07 +0100

A divorce in the best circumstances should be discussed for a long time before it happens. Seeking counseling, trying new ways to communicate, or a trial separation should all take place before the couple agrees that their marriage is over. Fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce, so joining a support group to help deal with the emotions in the aftermath, as well as counseling and mediation, can all make a divorce less painful for both spouses and their children. Although this is the waRead More...

Married to a Flirt

Mary Jo Rapini — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 23:02:14 +0100

I received a viewer question from Fox 26 “Mind, body, soul with Mary Jo” last week. The question is a familiar one that many couples struggle with.

Dear Mary Jo, I married my husband young and have been married almost 4 yrs. We have had many ups and downs. I have just noticed he flirts a lot with other girls. I ask him why and he has no answer. What should I do? I am hurt and confused. Thank you, Diane

Dear Diane, flirting is a way to interact and get attention. I haRead More...

Do Empowered Women Have Less Sex?

Mary Jo Rapini — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 01:34:38 +0100

My brand is empowering women and the men who love them, so I was naturally drawn to a study published in the Journal of Sex that suggested empowered women have less sex than women who are dominated by men. The study was done at Johns Hopkins University, which is a school that has an outstanding academic record for students and faculty alike. With all studies, it depends where they are done, and in this case the subjects were in Africa. Researchers surveyed women from six African countries andRead More...

He Wants a Wife, She Wants a Relationship, and Both Need More Intimacy

Mary Jo Rapini — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 23:59:10 +0100

The biggest discrepancy between men and women is the way they look at relationships. Women need a relationship to have sex. Guys need sex to have a relationship. That says everything. Guys could do without the relationship if they just had sex, most of the time. Women think they could do without the sex if they had a great relationship. But…they can’t, nor should they. Women’s ambiguous feelings toward sex and relationships tend to initiate most of the conflict within the rRead More...

Initiating Love Making as One of Your New Year’s Resolutions!

Mary Jo Rapini — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 01:24:33 +0100

“A good way to change someone’s attitude is to change your own, because the same sun that melts butter hardens clay.” – Unknown

The New Year is a time of transformation in your relationship. You know what didn’t work, and you know what sometimes worked, so it’s time to prepare to get your relationship back on track. We spend a lot of money and time buying our gym memberships and cookbooks to get our body in shape, but we forget our relationship needsRead More...

Is a Warm Body Better Than No-Body on New Year’s Eve?

Mary Jo Rapini — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 18:09:08 +0100

The loneliest most of us ever feel is when we are with someone we don’t care for. A bad date or a bad marriage can make us feel so alone and unloved. Many people go out with people they don’t like to avoid being alone for special holidays, and New Year’s Eve is one of those times. Who wants to be home alone on New Year’s Eve? It’s the one night you are supposed to go out, have romance and bring in the New Year with a kiss of passion and goodwill. I spent onRead More...

The New Normal Isn’t Normal (Illness Changes Everything)

Mary Jo Rapini — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 01:37:06 +0100

Humans have an incredible ability to adjust and change to our surroundings. Something catastrophic happens and somehow we go on. We begin to change our lifestyle and twenty year old routines within 24 hours. This happens when a crisis happens to those we love most. An accident, an illness, or during the end stages of our loved one’s disease we leave our old life and begin a new one. Patients of mine going through these crises call me from a local hospital telling me they are in the emerRead More...

Marriage Isn’t Natural; Another Reason to Commit

Mary Jo Rapini — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 23:59:48 +0100

I didn't marry you because you were perfect. I didn't even
marry you because I loved you. I married you because you
gave me a promise. That promise made up for your faults.
And the promise I gave you made up for mine. Two imperfect
people got married and it was the promise that made the marriage.
And when our children were growing up, it wasn't a house that
protected them; and it wasn't our love that protected them - it was that
promiseRead More...

Getting Dumped During the Holidays

Mary Jo Rapini — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 02:11:13 +0100

Getting “let go of,” separated or “dumped” is one of the most humiliating, depressing, and emotionally difficult experiences most of us will ever go through. For many couples, feeling more distance and tension are preludes that their partner isn’t happy and wants out of the relationship. Many of those same couples assume their partner will wait until after the holidays to lower the boom, not imagining anyone could be so cruel as to break it off during this time oRead More...

How Obese is Obese Enough to Take a Child from Their Home?

Mary Jo Rapini — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 22:16:16 +0100

This week I was asked to be an expert for an HLN story involving an 8 year old boy in Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio. This boy is morbidly obese, tipping the scales at 218 pounds. The Department of Children and Family Services took the boy into foster care after they felt the mother was unable to follow through with appropriate measures prescribed for the boy in order to lose weight. The mother’s defense was that she was going to school, in addition to working as an elementary teacher. She Read More...

Going Home Shouldn’t Hurt

Mary Jo Rapini — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 01:49:46 +0100

Whenever most of us think of family and going home we become excited with anticipation. We think of images of hugs, smiles and the warmth of a hug. For many people this is not their going home experience. For many images of fighting, caustic words flung all over carelessly, and rough touch comes to mind. They dread the holidays, they dread leaving work, and they dread the conversations forced upon them.

When the people who are supposed to love you, don’t, or the ones you share yoRead More...

What If Santa Can’t Afford Christmas?

Mary Jo Rapini — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 22:24:30 +0100

I had just turned off the evening news and was on my way to the kitchen to begin dinner when Lizzie ran up to me, grabbed my waist and with very serious eyes, looked up to me and asked me this question, “Mommy, what if Santa can’t afford Christmas this year?” Lizzie had been in earshot of the evening news and no doubt heard enough of the financial woes and was concerned. I hesitated, not wanting to scare her, but also not wanting to lie to her. Her father and I had expressedRead More...

No Spark, but a Relationship?

Mary Jo Rapini — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 01:35:28 +0100

I answer viewer questions for Fox 26 each week on my segments, “Mind, Body, Soul with Mary Jo.” I didn’t have time to answer this letter from Jane, so I decided to write the answer in my blog this week.

Dear Mary Jo,

“When you are starting to date someone and you enjoy their company, but do not have any real desire for them...how do you know if you should give it time to grow? Is it foolish to date where there is no 'spark,' hoping that will cRead More...

Your Kids Are Getting Bullied in Their Own Homes

Mary Jo Rapini — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 18:38:01 +0100

Thanksgiving is right around the corner and you are probably already making plans to visit friends and family. The kids are off from school, and you are looking forward to not having routines and school activities. Even though you sense peacefulness at this time without the hubbub, your child may not. Your child did not leave their “world” behind at school. Their world is increasingly the life they have online. It is the texts, the emails, the Facebook, and the MySpace. You can beRead More...

Helicopter Parents Raise Kids Who Cannot Fly Alone

Mary Jo Rapini — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 16:05:00 +0100

I was reading a recent article on the subject of “helicopter parenting” and how cell phones and the Internet have changed parents’ ability to hover over their children. The parents that supposedly hover the most are moms and dads of the “Millennials;” children of baby boomers, born between the early 1980s and 2000. As I read it, I could not help but think of my own childhood. I was the sixth of nine kids and I can safely say my parents most likely didn’t knRead More...

Internet Porn and Sexual Dysfunction

Mary Jo Rapini — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 01:39:51 +0100

When I get a call from a Urologist to refer a patient suffering erectile dysfunction, my mind typically sees a 50 plus year old gentleman. Recently this image in my mind is being replaced with a 20 plus year old that is addicted to internet porn. Viewing porn has been around for some time, but it has never been as accessible 24 hours a day to the majority of men. Women also view internet porn, but not to the same extent. Women aren’t as visual as men when it comes to sex. A clean dishwaRead More...