I am involved with counseling in the Weight Management Center at Methodist Hospital. One of the main issues I deal with is body image for women undergoing obesity treatment. I cannot stress enough how a woman's body image dramatically affects her ability to be sexual and to enjoy her sexuality. Women who are overweight feel embarrassed about their bodies and unworthy of having someone love them or desire them.

      For the most part every woman struggles with her body image from time to time. Our bodies fluctuate more than men due to hormonal imbalances. As women, we also retain more fluid and fat in our bodies than men. This is to insure our ability to get pregnant and also is what makes us women. Our skin is softer, we have more curves, and we are more emotional when compared to men. Women are judged harshly by society-particularly where weight is an issue. Studies done in the 60's and 80's revealed that small children would rather play with someone in a wheelchair or missing body parts than someone who was obese. The depth of the problem begins at a young age and gets more severe as we grow older.

       Many of the women I counsel go to extremes to hide their weight from their husbands. One patient told me her husband has never seen her naked. How sad as the biggest "turn on" for most men is to see their partner naked. Another patient told me when she takes a shower she lines the glass walls with towels so her husband cannot see her. Women don't go to these extremes without feelings of shame and guilt. The media makes it clear about the body types women "should" have. Women who cannot achieve this body type (99% of all women) tend to tell themselves that there is something wrong with their body and, therefore, try to hide it with clothes, towels, or etc. Sometimes obesity covers that body and is used as a defense to keep others away. The underlying motivation is the same: your body must be punished for not fitting in with other more attractive bodies.

Suggestions for re-discovery and loving your body:

1. Write down who taught you that your body wasn't okay. Who were these people (if it was a magazine or article) and who gave them authority over you?

2. Find pictures of bodies that look more like yours. Begin to look at these bodies. Evaluate them. What do you like about them, what don't you like about them (it is easier to evaluate fairly when it isn't your body).

3. Begin to explore your own body. What parts of your body respond to touch? What parts of your body bring back bad memories when you touch them?

4. If you are married or have a boyfriend/girlfriend ask this person what they like about your body. Write down what they say and post it somewhere you will see it frequently throughout the day. Re-read it and say these positive messages aloud. Create "new tapes".

5. Remember...everyone no matter their size, race, or creed has a right to enjoy the pleasures of their body. Before you begin to change your bodies through surgery to achieve a "more perfect one" consider changing your thoughts!