The only way to lose weight, begin a new healthy life-style, or create a new you is through self love. The reason diets don't work is because there is a beginning and an ending. When you end a diet it is usually because you are frustrated and angry with your self, your lack of discipline or your inability to stay committed to your goals. You feel defeated that once again you let yourself down.

       Everyone talks about self love, but what is it? You don't want to go around bragging about yourself and become obnoxiously narcissistic. Rather, self love is simply understanding and trusting that your inner beauty is your birthright. It isn't easy to explain because it is your essence. You don't have to do anything except acknowledge it. It is ageless and timeless and it grows with your years of experience.

       Many patients struggle because they don't realize their inner beauty. They are trying to be thinner, tanner, blonder, and more beautiful to the camera, an admirer, or family. They forget the most important person who must acknowledge their beauty...themselves. You cannot make life changes if you cannot accept this essence or beauty within you. You will become impatient and demanding; the harder you try to make the change the more you will fail at it. Let go. Try to spend time alone with silence and write your thoughts without judgment. Try listening to other people without judgment. Try for one day to only speak kindly to yourself. No matter what kinds of mistakes you may make don't use harsh words or beat yourself up. This is a nice way to talk with yourself when you feel like you made a mistake.

"Wow, that didn't go quite as we planned. It's okay...we are learning and we can learn together. I am on your side. There is nothing we cannot handle if we do it together"

        Now, as you say that out loud, don't you feel different about yourself? Do you see how you may be able befriend yourself? Little changes like this mean a lot when you are learning how to love yourself. Everyone can do this; it just takes some attention to what you are currently saying to yourself.

        Make this your new mantra for a day (or two). Say "clarity, focus, ease and grace." See how your behaviors change toward yourself and others as you go about saying this during work, exercise class, or a meeting.

       We were all created to be joyful and love ourselves! In childhood and adolescence we become critical and disgusted with ourselves. We tend to hate ourselves and behaviors and begin to sabotage our ability to live healthy. Only you can change how you feel about you. Start today...chose one small change each day becoming aware of your inner beauty.

MJo