We are celebrating Mother's day today and during the week. It is a time to reflect on what it means to be a mother and what our mothers mean to us. I have two daughters and both of them are great blessings to me. They are wonderful and accomplished in their young lives. They taught me numerous things about bugs, boys, friendships, skinned knees and broken hearts. I have lived through their eyes and laughed through their hearts. The child who taught me most about being a mom though is the one I never held. He died when I was in my second trimester. He died the way he came--silently, but yet he left a lasting place in my heart. He taught me so much about my expectations of having a baby and how he really did belong to me, his mom. No one grieved his death the way I did nor did anyone celebrate his existence as much. I took care to eat the right foods, listen to "healthy music", and protect his fragile existence. When he died I felt responsible. I went over everything even though the doctor reassured me that his death was a "random fluke".

        This baby taught me about how a mom prepares her dream for this new life. How this new life is part of her from the moment it becomes apparent that she is carrying another life. How a mother's concern for her child takes precedence over every other matter. There is no escape for a mom when it comes to her children. She can never totally abandon the child without haunting feelings or a nagging sensation to go to them. When a mother loses a child she usually describes it as losing a body part; something as significant as a leg, arm, heart, or soul. It happens so quickly within the pregnancy. Before we are aware of it we are already bonded to this little being.

         If you feel like you haven't talked to your mom or expressed your love for her this is an excellent time to do that. You can do it with a card, a phone call, even an email. The important thing is to do it. Your mom doesn't care how it comes to her; she only cares that you know how much she loved you and how she would give up anything to have you in her arms. Every mom needs to know they did a good job raising you. Every mom went through the process of giving you life through her body. A mom is a mom until she dies. Rationalize it, deny it, or intellectualize it, no one will ever love you like your mom! Happy Mother's day to your mom!

MJo