We saw the news report and heard about it on the radio. We read about it online and in the newspapers; we will continue to hear about it until we all do something about preventing it. Suicide is the 11th highest cause of death in the United States. It kills 31,000 people each year and severely inflicts injuries on another 425,000 each year. April is the most popular month for suicide in the United States. We see people out of work or losing their homes and then resort to killing themselves and many times their whole family, co-workers, or even complete strangers. How does this happen? What is wrong with these people? Who are these people? They are you and I.
The profile of someone who turns to suicide is complicated. Many times it is someone we would have never suspected. Often the person has one of these issues: clinical depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, postpartum depression, alcohol or drug abuse, PTSD, and chronic pain. Usually when you are in the midst of one of these disorders you also have a chemical imbalance which prevents you from thinking clearly. You may convince yourself that the world is better off without you and many times you make that call for others as well. You may feel like you need to save others and to kill them would be better. You have confused ending your pain with ending your life.
What can you do if you know someone you love is struggling and you worry about them committing suicide?
Step I. Don't ignore it. You cannot talk someone into suicide and bringing it up won't make someone act on it if they aren't feeling like it. In fact it may have the opposite effect. Once you ask someone you may begin a dialogue with them where they begin to feel safer and more willing to discuss their pain or problems with you. Remind your friend that you care about them and will not abandon them no matter how long it may take.
Step II. Make a doctor's appointment for the person right away. Many times thyroid imbalances or serious illnesses can form a severe depression which may lead to your loved one wanting to end their life. It may be something as simple as getting on an appropriate medication for the person to begin to feel better and no longer be suicidal.
Step III. Invest in a good counselor. Sometimes problems are so shameful or difficult that your loved one cannot talk with a family member or close friend about it. A third party provides an environment as well as expertise at helping a person trust and be vulnerable with them. Once the problem is out in the open it will be much easier to deal with. Very few problems eliminate themselves immediately. It takes time and patience to work through difficult issues.
Step IV. Have your loved one sign a contract with you that they will not kill themselves. Although this sounds too simple or outdated it is one of the single best tools we have in regards to preventing suicide. A good rule of thumb is to keep it simple and have them read it back to you. Ask them if they will commit to you that they will not attempt or complete an act of suicide without checking with you first. Understand that thoughts of suicide are feelings and feelings come and go. Your loved one may feel suicidal today but not tomorrow. Work toward keeping your loved one safe one day at a time.
Never forget that when someone is contemplating suicide they are also looking for weapons. Remove all guns and other weapons from the immediate area. If we all become more aware we can help to prevent this deadly decision.
MJo
