Step 1: Take your Time

Get clear on the nutritional aspects of your new lifestyle and begin to exercise lightly. Begin to focus on caring for you. If you have children give them small tasks they can do to help you get your energy back. Never rely on your children to care for you and do your "chores". You need to get moving and begin to take responsibility for this new direction you have decided to take.

Step 2: Be Considerate of your Friends, Family and Spouse

Your change may threaten your family and they aren't real sure how you are going act. They knew how to support you in the past but they may not be sure how to support this more confident, outgoing you. Accept compliments but don't let yourself dwell on them. People are reacting to how you look. Don't take it too seriously, but make sure you acknowledge it.

Step 3: Keep your Conversations Diverse

Try not to talk too much about your weight loss success (they may see this as being self focused). Instead inquire about their interests and goals. Show concern and enthusiasm for what's going with friends, family and your spouse.

Step 4: Include your Spouse/Significant Other in New Activities

Remember all the things you couldn't do, but wanted to and take them up now. Bring your whole family into the fun! Everyone can pick one new activity to try a week. It can be a three legged race or a game of sand volleyball. It doesn't matter what you do-just do activities and laugh.

Step 5: Compliment your Spouse/Significant Other

Take the focus off of you and put it on your partner. Tell them what their support has meant to you. Try writing them a letter "25 things I love about you". Include what they did to help lift you up when you were down.

Many of my patients complain after surgery that they are noticing things they don't like about their spouse. It is difficult because as we change physically we may project some of the "old tapes" that sabotaged us in the past on to our spouses. This is a slippery slope to engage in and it usually ends with you falling in a mess. Better to focus on what you do love about your spouse and look for those things. If your marriage is troubled before surgery it is likely it will not improve after surgery. Hurt is held in and resentment is not easily let go. Better to invest in counseling prior to and after surgery to ensure its health and continued support for years to come. A broken family is just that...broken. Relationships don't just die; they are neglected and neither partner wants to risk the pain for possible growth. Be a risk taker and grow.

MJo