The stress of everyday life takes a toll on your work, parenting skills, and relationships, especially the relationship with your partner. In a recent report, a marriage expert explained it’s not necessarily money or the in-laws causing conflict between couples. Rather, couples argue because they aren’t emotionally connected with each other. They’ve given up trying to be reasonable because they feel unsupported and alone in their relationship.
Within every relationship there are moments to reconnect. These moments are opportunities to show your partner attention, affection, and emotional support by going the extra mile. Supporting each other emotionally is the cornerstone of intimacy between two people. In a six-year study, couples who divorced turned to each other less than 40% of the time, whereas couples who were happy in their marriage reported emotionally supporting each other more than 85% of the time. Taking advantage of each moment will improve your marriage, your health, and the emotional health of your children.
- Know and understand your partner’s worries, stressors, and values. Ask your partner what they need from you and pay attention. Most of the things they need are small, such as your full attention, your help at home (without getting defensive), and teamwork to get the work done.
- Be more appreciative and stop comparing your partner to someone they used to be or aren’t. Appreciation and gratitude begin when you accept your partner for who they are. You’re not perfect – your partner isn’t either.
- Couples react to each other…start the change. When one of you changes, becoming more appreciative and more willing to go the extra mile, your partner has no choice but to react. It may not be fast, but it will happen.
Work together with your partner and reach out emotionally during those everyday moments. Unloading the dishwasher, fixing meals, or doing homework with the kids reinforces your intimacy and deepens your connection. Couples don’t just break up or divorce…they spiral downward for years with conflict, contempt, and resentment. No matter where you are in your marriage, taking advantage of these three simple tasks will lead to a deeper understanding and emotional connection with your spouse.