Dear Mary Jo, Why is it so hard to find a man to date and marry?
Thank you, Lauren
Dear Lauren, it’s easy to become frustrated with the complications of modern dating. You meet someone and have great chemistry, but it quickly fizzles out after one date. Having a serious relationship is more difficult today for both men and women. Here are some reasons it’s becoming more and more difficult:
- Technology has created more distance between couples. Texting has replaced talking, and people are more connected to their phone than each other.
- Hook-ups are more common and sharing intimacy has become recreational, devaluing commitment to one person and working things out.
- There are so many options, and everyone is waiting for someone better to come along.
- With divorces and broken families, there are fewer and fewer marriage mentors who can emotionally support couples when they’re going through a rough time in their relationship.
- Marriage isn’t as respected as it once was.
The best way to find someone who can commit and build a relationship is through a friend, a cause, or a church you belong to and believe in. A relationship built on friendship works best.
Dear Mary Jo, I have a 7 year old step daughter. How do I help her gain her trust and confidence in me as a step mom?
Thank you, Anna
Dear Anna, your question alone is a big step toward building a great relationship. Trust is a key element, and it takes time to build. These four suggestions will help:
- Listening and keeping your conversations with her confidential will help her feel understood and valued.
- Taking an interest in what she finds interesting will help her feel important and respected.
- When she watches you and hears you being honest and kind to friends, she learns you’re an honest and kind person. Kids know when adults are being insincere.
- Don’t ever choose sides between her mother and dad. You cannot fix what you didn’t break or witness breaking. Let her tell you what happened and accept her truth as valid.