Hi Mary Jo,
How do you keep the intimacy and relationship with your husband alive when you’re both gone from morning until night?
One of the most important things about a healthy marriage is learning to balance it with your other passions. The longer you’ve been together, the easier it is to become neglectful of one another. Soon you realize you’re ships passing in the night and you’ve lost communication as well as intimacy. When you become more like roommates than lovers you may feel hesitant or awkward with intimacy. You can restore your closeness but it is a process, and just as it didn’t disappear all at once, it won’t reappear all at once either. These tips can help.
- Practice active appreciation of your partner at least 5 times a day. Leave them notes, call them, and be aware of and look for things to be grateful for. This helps you begin putting them first in your mind.
- Create and prioritize a space for just the two of you. That means scheduled time by yourselves to be intimate, but also to share and experience doing things together. Whether that’s hiking or taking a class together, go out on a limb and take a risk. Passion is reignited when couples do novel things together.
- Try a couples retreat. Experiencing a retreat focused on building intimacy where no one knows you except your partner opens a door for communication and closeness. SmartMarriages.com is a wonderful resource for couples who value their marriage and are working toward improving it.
- Be a cheap date, but do schedule meet ups. The significance of scheduling time to be together is paramount. It can be holding hands over a cup of coffee or a pizza on Friday night. It’s not reservations at a fancy restaurant that keep you close…it’s the 10 minute, phones off, eye-to-eye contact attention that ignites intimacy.