Dear Mary Jo,
I was with someone I really liked until I kissed him. He kissed me like a lizard. Is there any way you can “train” someone to kiss you better?
Although the majority of relationships end if one partner isn’t a good kisser, that’s not necessarily a good reason to end it. Kissing is important, and it was once believed that if you didn’t match on kissing it would be a bad genetic mix for offspring. You can teach someone to be a better kisser, but it requires courage, patience and encouragement. Here is what I would suggest. First, tell him you want to try kissing a little bit differently. Secondly, be willing to take the lead and show him what you like. If he goes back to what he did before, feel free to stop. Encourage him the closer he gets to what you like and have patience. Is it a lot of work? Yes. Is the relationship worth it to you? Only you can answer that. Overall, the best relationships are ones in which the couple focus on each other’s character rather than whether they’re a good kisser or need coaching.
Dear Mary Jo,
How do you turn a guy down nicely when there is no chemistry?
The best way to tell someone you don’t feel a connection is face-to-face or at least with a phone call. Be genuine and direct telling him you like him (if you do) but you don’t feel a “chemistry” or connection. It will help if you keep their pride intact, not dwelling on it or making it into a big deal. If you want to try and work out a friendship, let them know that as well because that sometimes helps comfort the awkwardness. Don’t expect them to call or act friendly after you tell them, but don’t avoid them when you see them out after telling them. No one likes to be rejected, and in matters of the heart, it’s best if you leave the other person feeling respected.