Questions this week are about dating after a divorce. When is a good time or is there a right time to begin dating again? Gary asks what many men ask, “Do women really like good guys?
Dear Mary Jo,
I just went through a divorce and I’d like to know how long before I should begin dating again?
Usually one to two years, but since everyone is different my best suggestion is to have a “truth talk” with yourself before you agree to your first date.
- Do you feel okay or neutral about your ex? If the mention of their name makes your skin crawl or you still have feelings of love or anger, you aren’t done healing. Postpone dating for a while.
- Can you claim and own your part in the divorce? If it’s still all his fault, postpone dating. You’ll know when you’ve resolved the past because you’ll have made changes inside you that help you be a better partner next time around.
- Do you know what you want and what you don’t? Are you prepared to walk away from a potential partner if you see warning signs flashing? Both of these points are extremely important when dating after a divorce. Taking your time before you begin the dating scene after a divorce predicts a better chance of success.
Dear Mary Jo,
Do women really like nice guys or do they prefer guys with an edge?
Women are impressed with polite guys, but nobody wants a “push over.” Women need and are attracted to confidence and they look for that. Unfortunately, a lot of passive guys are also really nice guys so they get overlooked in the dating world, which is why it’s important to stand for something and have boundaries. If you want more dates, be confident in yourself, have a plan for where you want to take her and be a gentleman.