Women initiate more than 80% of all divorces and when you search the internet for advice on how to be a good husband or wife, you find many articles to help men be good husbands, but the ones for wives are religious-based or from the 1950s when gender roles were more rigid.
Both women’s and men’s roles are changing in the home, and although that brings more opportunities, it also brings more confusion regarding how to be a good wife. Women have children and children greatly influence her role in the workplace, as well as at home no matter how much support she has from her husband.
Every married couple has specific needs and ideas about what they need from each other. One man’s awesome wife is aloof and cold to another man. It’s important that couples communicate and create a bond of trust, companionship and mutual respect to be the best partner they can be. Below I have six qualities I think are the most important for women to be the best wife they can be.
- Accept him as he is without needing or expecting him to change for you. When you accept a man you show him with your actions that he is enough and you love him just as he is. Encouraging him when you see he needs help is much better than comparing him or making him feel less than.
- Appreciate his way of showing you love. Guys think and express themselves different than your girlfriends or whoever else you’re connected to. Many times a husband will fix things or do things for you that are expressions of his love. Demanding more or telling him with silent treatment or nagging that he could do more makes him feel belittled and angry. A husband who feels as though he cannot win is a defeated husband.
- Be his loyal and faithful companion and friend. When you’re dating you hang out together, and share interests. When you get married you get busy with the house, kids and bills and forget about just hanging out together and being friends. Playing together and being interested in his interests makes him feel as though you “get” or understand him. He feels closer to you and is able to be vulnerable with his feelings.
- Never side with the enemy. When guys are upset about a situation or someone at work, validate their feelings. Telling them they were wrong, or how they should’ve handled it makes them feel incompetent. After they feel supported by you, they’ll begin exploring more openly what they need to work on to mend the situation.
- Continue to take care of yourself and your appearance. It’s important to a woman’s self-esteem to feel good about herself. It’s also important to her husband. Letting yourself go after marriage or forgetting that your husband loves seeing you dressed up and feeling good about yourself makes a husband feel rejected. Taking care of yourself and living a healthy lifestyle is important to the health of your marriage.
- Continue to “date” him and know his cry for attention. Guys don’t usually cry when they’re upset with their wife, they get angry. Venting, withdrawal and frustration are just as real and heart felt as tears for a woman. Understanding a husband’s need for physical attention is an important part of marriage. It is one of the main reasons behind the high divorce rate. Rather than judge his needs, give him attention. Taking time to date the man you married is the most important part of being a wonderful wife.
The majority of guys aren’t as demanding as women about what they need, and for the most part if a guy gets the attention he needs from his wife he will think she is the most wonderful wife/woman, and mother in the world!