Viewer’s questions this week involve knowing when to seek professional help in your relationship, and how do you stop putting yourself in the “friend zone?”
Dear Mary Jo,
How do you know as a couple when it’s time to get professional help?
The best way to think of couples is not as a last ditch effort, but rather as a checkup. These are important clues that your relationship needs help:
- You get more emotional support from your friends and family than you do from your partner.
- You keep having the same fight over and over.
- You begin blaming instead of taking responsibility for your part.
- Your sex life dwindles.
- Either of you have or are going through a major life change.
If you’re committed to your relationship and you’ve been stuck in this rut for more than a month, it’s time.
Dear Mary Jo,
How do I stop putting myself in the “friend zone” in relationships?
People end up in the friend zone for a variety of reasons. Since all love relationships begin with attraction, it’s important. Friends aren’t concerned with your attraction, but love relationships need that. People in the friend zone may not be making themselves attractive to others (this can be body language, the way you feel about yourself, or what you’re wearing). Secondly, they choose the wrong type of person for a relationship. Thirdly, they don’t speak up with what they need, but rather go along doing all the work in the relationship. If you do everything, the other person will be less likely to invest in the relationship, and they’ll keep you as friend.
If you really want a relationship, begin with making you look and feel confident and be the best version of you possible. Secondly, go to different sources to meet people and be assertive with what you want, don’t want or need to happen. Do your part and your part only. The chase is necessary for a love relationship to happen.