Viewer questions this week focus on the different types of love and how to discern when you’re being used in the name of love for money.
Dear Mary Jo,
What do you do when your spouse tells you they love with you with all their heart, but they are not in love with you?
I’d ask him exactly what he means by that, but I think it sounds like he loves you for a friend and companion, but he no longer feels passion or desire for you. To keep the spark alive in your marriage you need to constantly nurture it. If you’re both invested in the marriage you can rekindle that spark or chemistry again, but it takes time and work with a professional. Love does change with time, and in a healthy marriage it grows deeper and stronger. Expecting to feel burning passion the way you did when you first met is unrealistic, but chemistry or sexual attraction should continue in a healthy marriage. If it’s gone for your partner, it may be a medical issue on his part or an unresolved conflict in your relationship. The only way you’ll know for sure is if he is able to talk to you about exactly how he’s feeling.
Dear Mary Jo,
How do you know if someone is dating you for your money?
When someone is with you for your money they will always find a way to make an excuse why they can’t see you, take you out, or basically invest their time in the relationship. They’ll make up excuses such as, “I want to see you, but don’t have money for gas.” Or something like, “I want to take you out, but can’t afford it.” They show up on dates unprepared to pay and basically use you for transportation, dinners and entertainment. You’d be wise to cut that relationship off before it develops a pattern of dependence. You deserve better than that.