Marriage is a lifestyle and therefore continually evolves and changes. Each stage comes with challenges and opportunities to work together and solve issues. Today’s questions hit hot topics of balancing work, kids and alone time as well as how to prevent boredom in your marriage.
Dear Mary Jo,
How do you split time with your children if you’ve been working all day and your wife is a stay-at-home mom?
Essentially both you and your wife are working, and finding a way that works for you both to spend time with your baby, each other and alone is tough. However, it’s an opportunity also to work together and find solutions that will enhance your marriage. If you sit down together and make a list of what needs to be done and then divide the chores depending on time involved and what you each like doing that will really help. Secondly, once a chore is delegated to someone and they accept it, don’t criticize the job they do. Encouragement always works best. Thirdly, consider taking shifts to help at night with infant feedings, and on the weekends consider taking the morning or evening shift. No matter how many kids you have, your time together is important and showing each other attention and appreciation keeps marriage happy. So don’t forgot date nights. Plan to have a babysitter or relative at least once every week or two come and stay with the baby so the two of you can get dressed up and be a couple.
Resentment kills love, and resentment grows when couples feel as though things aren’t fair. Be sure you communicate to each other whenever you feel this way, and be respectful of your partner by listening and working toward a solution. The best gift you can give your baby is to keep your marriage healthy.
Dear Mary Jo,
I have been married for six years and I am wondering if I should try to act like other people so he doesn’t get bored or stay the way that I am?
No one can do you as well as you, and I think you should continue being you. Couples become bored in marriage because they quit putting effort into their looks, their interests and their relationship. They begin taking one another for granted instead of wanting to please one another. By all means talk to your husband and engage in interesting activities that are novel to both of you because that has been shown to enhance marriage. Also, men are visual and changing your look from time to time or your dress style especially if he likes it will add spark to your relationship. The best way to protect your marriage from boredom is to communicate things you’d like to try and continue to invest in your own interests. The more you love yourself and your life, the more it will show in your marriage.