Viewer questions this week involve the difficulty of finding your soul mate and the downside of texting in a relationship.
Dear Mary Jo,
Why is it so difficult to find a soul mate?
It’s all about expectations. When you’re looking for your soul mate or special person you most likely have expectations built around that. Physical specifics may be some of that, but you begin making assumptions. You may assume that when you find your soul mate you’ll immediately know it. That’s how the movies make it seem, but in reality, you may not be attracted to your significant other when you first meet them. This may cause you to overlook a person who would have been an incredible partner for you. Another big mistake many people make is when they are in relationship with their soul mate it requires more work than they actually thought it would or should. Therefore, a lot of couples already have their soul mate, but they continue looking for someone magical. Soul mates aren’t magical and you won’t live happily ever after once you find them, but you will create magic if you both work on the relationship and put it first.
Dear Mary Jo,
Is texting terrible for a relationship?
In general, texting is an effective way to enhance romance, but not in the beginning of relationship. According to experts, guys who text frequently reported lower relationship quality than guys who sent fewer but talked to their partner more face-to-face. Women, on the other hand, reported higher quality connections when they texted more and received more frequent texts. This may be because it fed the women’s over-thinking mechanism and kept her constantly close to her partner. Women also were more likely to try and talk it out via texts, which confused guys and made it more likely they would not text.
The most effective form of communication is face-to-face especially in the beginning of the relationship. This will help minimize confusion as you get to know one another. Then as the relationship grows you can text throughout the day to keep your partner thinking about you while remembering if you need to work an issue out. Do it face-to-face instead of via text if you do.