Two fantastic questions this week, and if you’re a “type A” personality, you’ll definitely find the first one helpful. For you single women who are putting yourself out in the dating world, Sonja’s question will be of particular interest to you.
Dear Mary Jo,
How do two “type A” personalities get along?
Two type A’s do get along and are more productive than two type B’s. They also have a more passionate relationship if both of them understand they are intense people rather than blame each other for their intensity. The main thing that can make or break your relationship is communication, and sometimes type A’s don’t talk, they yell, and when your partner is yelling at you, a type A will usually yell back. Make it a win/win situation. When you want something in your relationship make sure you listen to her and give her something. Type A’s are very concerned with what’s fair. Going on a marriage retreat for conflict resolution would be a wonderful anniversary gift the two of you can give to each other. Two type A’s can get extremely intense and anxious, so learning how to calm down your partner will go a long way in helping you achieve peace. Type A personalities are more prone to stress related diseases, so encourage each other to add “play time” or “down time” into each day. Of course, date nights will be most successful if you take turns planning them.
Dear Mary Jo,
How do you venture back into the dating world after five years of being an independent career woman without intimidating the guy?
Dating has changed a lot in five years, but these suggestions are as important today as they were five years ago:
- Go out with the intention of meeting people instead of having an expectation of finding someone.
- After being single for five years and building a career, you may feel more confident talking about who you are at work or what you do, but leave work at work and talk about your personal life.
- Have an awareness that guys fear rejection, so talk less about yourself and be curious about them. When you talk a lot about yourself it’s a turn off to your date.
- Don’t be an open book, especially on the first date. Let them find out about you as they get to know you. They’ll be more impressed as they discover things about you on their own, and it will help you feel less vulnerable.
- Remember your date is your date, not your employee. Being direct is good, but being forceful or pushy is not.