We’ve all heard the word foreplay, and most of us relate it to the bedroom. But foreplay is much more than the moments before sex. Foreplay is the way you talk to your partner when you first wake up, and how you make him or her feel throughout the day. Your actions and words determine what happens (or doesn’t happen) in the bedroom.
Examples of poor foreplay include:
- Looking at your phone while talking to them.
- Not asking them about their day or seeming to care.
- Not supportive when your partner is down, but critical instead.
- Complaining to each other about each other.
- No longer dating your partner.
- Not participating in helping, but having an attitude of entitlement.
- Making sure you get “your time,” but not as protective of your partner getting their time.
- Feeling alone in your marriage except during sex.
- Forgetting the importance of romance and touching. No longer making them feel special except for bedtime.
The biggest reason couples quit enjoying action in the bedroom is they feel as though they are ignored except for sex.
- Compliment your spouse and tell them specifically when they look sexy (not just at bedtime).
- Be curious about what happened in your partner’s day.
- Dressing well makes your spouse feel more desired and attracted to you. It says, “I care.”
- Stare at your spouse in a flattering way from time to time. Eye contact is important for feeling desire.
- Touch your partner often, not just at bedtime. Too much touch at bedtime is a signal every woman resists if she has been ignored during the day.
- Take the time to make sure you do your part with chores so your partner can let go of being a parent and be your lover instead.
- Flirt with your partner throughout the day by text or email. Any and all communication is good.
People don’t come with an on and off switch, and even though there are medications to help with libido sometimes the problem isn’t biological at all. If you want your partner to be more engaged with physical loving, then give them more emotional attention throughout the day.