Social media and economic changes have added a challenging component to dating. This week’s questions highlight two areas that both men and women are confused about.
Dear Mary Jo,
I feel so confused with modern day dating. If you’re making more than the person you’re dating, what are the “rules” of who pays?
Whoever makes the date should pay for it, and the guy is usually the first one who does. Most guys want to pay and may be insulted if you pay. If you begin going out frequently, then I think the best thing to do is talk about what you’re both comfortable with. Money issues are a main reason couples split so try not to let money get in the way of how you feel about a person. Money symbolizes power and status for men, and security and safety for women, so talking to your partner directly rather than assuming how they may feel will help you both feel more connected.
Dear Mary Jo,
With social media being so accessible these days, when is it appropriate to research some before dating them?
I think it’s important to be safe and that means it’s okay to check a few things. Most of the time you get a “gut feeling” about someone and you should trust your gut. If you’re checking casually and not stalking, I don’t think it’s a big deal. The reasons you’re checking are a concern much more than whether you check. If you’re suspicious or trying to catch him in a lie or test him, you’ll ruin the date and defeat the whole idea of dating. A date is not an interview…it’s getting to know someone. The majority of people aren’t trying to scam you or harm you, so when it comes to online dating be smart, but not a stalker.