Women are getting married later in life and having their children later as well. There are advantages to this because moms and dads have more emotional maturity before they begin their family. However, one of the big disadvantages is that for women it’s becoming more and more likely they will go through menopause while their daughter is going through puberty.
Going through peri-menopause, menopause and puberty are rites of passage and it’s tough. You feel moody, irritable, bloated, and exhausted. For moms with small children it can be overwhelming during this time, but even worse than caring for small children is going through the change of life with a daughter who is going through puberty. You may imagine being on a deserted island where you have only your inner conflicts to deal with, but most moms don’t have that luxury and that means dealing with a daughter who is as moody, irritable and frustrated as you.
There are changes for moms and daughters during this time, and being aware of the changes helps moms react less and keep communication open between themselves and their daughters. With menopause the changes in hormones affects sleep, worsens your mood, causes acne, worsens headaches, lowers libido and decreases your ability to deal with stress, and what mother isn’t stressed? When girls go through puberty their hormones are just as imbalanced which causes bloating, weight gain, acne, fatigue, headaches, and an attitude that speaks loudly to be left alone.
There are things you can do that will help both you and your daughter get through this life passage together without hating each other or being arch enemies. It will demand more understanding on moms’ part because after all, mom is the adult.
Solutions to calming a house full of hormones:
- As much as possible keep family peace as a priority in your home. When you’re feeling irritable, hot, or stressed understand this is hormonal and temporary. Evaluating if it’s really necessary will prevent additional drama.
- Enlist the help of your husband. Screaming at him is not going to help you get through menopause or your daughter through puberty. The majority of men know their wife is angry and going through menopause, but they have no clue how to help.
- Exercise with your daughter. Weight gain is a symptom of both menopause and puberty. Going to an exercise class together opens communication and helps you deal with stress.
- Get closer with your partner. Getting away with your partner and telling him how you feel can help you feel supported and loved at a time when you are feeling miserable about yourself.
- Talk to your health care provider if your symptoms interfere with your daily life. No one can function if they cannot sleep or they suffer severe fatigue. When hormonal shifts become severe it is wise to talk to your physician. Depression as well as heightened anxiety are frequently seen and easily treated.
With menopause as with puberty there is a grieving of the past and an opportunity for a new sense of freedom. People who breeze through menopause are the same ones who embrace the change and keep a positive attitude. Weight gain, frustration and increased stress are symptoms of hormonal shifts, but that doesn’t mean you have to gain weight, be frustrated or stressed out. Preparing your mind to help your body go through the changes is a big predictor in determining how disruptive the change of life will be for you.