When making New Years’ Resolutions it’s important to consider your ability to change. According to Sonja Lyubomirsky, a researcher at the University of California, 40% of your capacity for happiness is dependent upon your ability to change. You don’t have to look far to meet truly miserable people, and question why they continue to live a life of misery. Since most of us bounce back and forth between happiness and blue, it seems to be what determines miserable people from optimistic ones are the time they devote to being miserable. If you’ve been told you’re miserable and you feel miserable most of the time, it is encouraging that you can make a change. Let 2015 be your year of transformation, insight or taking small steps away from misery. Chronically unhappy people share these 8 traits. If you stay away from these, there is hope you will walk with a lighter step and maybe even hum a tune or two.
- You focus on who is to blame for everything that happens, and have difficulty accepting responsibility for your situation.
- You victimize yourself by believing life is difficult and you are powerless to change things.
- You believe most people can’t be trusted. Unhappy people assume everyone is out to get them. The more you exclude others because you don’t trust them, the more you lose the possibility of meeting new friends and developing a sense of community.
- Unhappy people look for what’s wrong in the world instead of the positive. Miserable people are absolutely convinced the world is all messed up and overlook positive things. They are drawn to how it “used to be” and cannot move forward with progress.
- Unhappy people want to control every sense of their day, month, and year. They are greatly affected when life doesn’t go as planned. Happier people seem to have more of an ability to be flexible or bounce back when things don’t go as planned. Being able to prepare and have a plan B is a great coping skill for reducing stress as well.
- Unhappy people compare themselves to others, and believe there is only so much good luck to go around. The more you compare yourself to other people, the more critical of yourself and others you will become. This causes jealousy and resentment. Happy people, on the other hand, believe there is an unlimited amount of good to go around and they feel limitless in their ability to attain it.
- Unhappy people spend a lot of time gossiping and complaining about other people.
- Unhappy people are more pessimistic and fearful about the future. Happy people may worry, but they seem to be able to separate their worry of what ifs to what actually is. Miserable people get stuck in their fear and assume what they fear is what will happen. It contributes to their inability to connect and feel loved.
Everyone has days they feel less happy than others. However, if you feel as though you’re alone, sad and unhappy, more times than not, replacing some of the behaviors characteristic of unhappy people with behaviors that happier people share will not only improve your mood, it will expand to your relationships, health and the quality of your life.