Ruth asks how to address a colleague of her husband’s and Maria asks how to deal with depressing news.
Dear Mary Jo,
My spouse and a female co-worker stayed at the same hotel on work-related business. For me it crosses a line along with a few other things. I want to speak with her because it appears she joins everything he is a part of. How can I say something to her?
Women are doing the same jobs as men now, and have a right to go to the same meetings and stay in the same hotel where their co-workers lodge. It sounds as though you are placing the responsibility of not crossing boundaries on your husband’s co-worker instead of him. This is wrong. The only person who can make your husband cheat is your husband.
I suggest you tell him your discomfort and work to resolve this issue between the two of you. If you are jealous or feel threatened by another woman, there is a strong indication that your husband needs to be clearer regarding his boundaries. You cannot make someone cheat who doesn’t want to. In most cases, each spouse should take care of issues that make them uncomfortable in their job without spousal involvement. Your marriage may not be stable, and you may feel better if you get additional reinforcement with boundaries from a marriage counselor or marriage course.
Dear Mary Jo,
My friends and I love watching you on Fox 26. How do you listen to the news every day and not get depressed? It seems like more and more tragic things are happening in the world, and I find myself feeling more and more overwhelmed with my life. What advice do you have more me?
You cannot control the craziness in the world, but you can control how much of it you engage in each day. Put limits on media so you aren’t feeling inundated and overwhelmed by it. Take control of how to bring moments of joy into your life. Having family dinners, nighttime prayers, making time to exercise, and be engaged with family and friends helps you feel connected and helpful. Remember that for your child you are their world. If you are hopeful and do what you can to help others, your child sees that and that is their reality of the world. Find an organization that you believe in and become involved with that. When we continue to do small acts of kindness for others we see huge waves. No, you cannot control others, but you do indeed have control over your attitude.
Thank you for your wonderful heartfelt questions. They will continue like a ripple expanding their ability to help others.