Marital therapy’s objective is to help guide couples to a better place feeling more loved, connected and grateful they married. However, that is not what marital therapy is used for the majority of the time. The more common use is a last ditch effort made by the couple to save their failing marriage. This is a misunderstanding on the couple’s part as well as the idea behind marital problems. Marriages don’t get bad overnight. They don’t split quickly. In fact, the average marriage that divorces has suffered seven years, give or take a few years.
Couples deny their marriage is in trouble. They begin feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, pulled in many directions, and therefore, push their feelings under the rug. This tactic doesn’t work in any area of our lives, let alone in our most intimate area, which is marriage. When your partner is thinking about leaving there are all kinds of whistles going off, but unless you heed the sound and confront the feeling and what issues are behind it you’re going to miss it, and unfortunately you’ll be one more statistic that divorced.
Below are the top seven reasons guys leave their marriage. As you look through these you can see they are not the things you may suspect from your man, because they are based in emotion. Guys are not socialized to express emotion openly, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t emotional.
- He feels as though his dreams or goals are no longer embraced, but more than that, he feels as though his wife has “given up on him.” Guys need to know their wife respects them and thinks of them as her man.
- He feels as though she ignores his depression. Guys suffer depression too, but the way they deal with it is through withdrawal and anger. If his wife makes light of it or tells him to buck up, he is as hurt as if she slapped him in the face.
- He feels as though they are roommates rather than lovers. Lack of sex won’t kill a marriage that is connected by intimacy, but if there is no connection of intimacy, then a lack of sex will end the marriage.
- He feels as though his wife doesn’t trust him and he doesn’t trust her.
- He feels as though she wants total control over how the kids are raised and belittles him when he tries to have a say.
- He feels as though she doesn’t appreciate him. He wants to please her, but she seems more focused on what he doesn’t do.
- He feels as though he always has to be the strong one, and she doesn’t care how he feels.
When a guy leaves his marriage or anyone leaves their marriage they are responsible for their actions. But a marriage is much bigger than the husband or wife alone; it is the interaction between the two. Marriage can be awesome, but it can also be very messy. If you notice behaviors or words in your marriage that make you uncomfortable, instead of sweeping them under a rug, say something to your spouse. Couples who talk together about their marriage have better marriages. A loving marriage is the best gift you can give yourself as well as your children.