Commitment in a marriage is so important, but no one can commit if there isn’t a connection to commit to. You can rebuild and work toward deepening your emotional connection with intimacy. Here are 10 skills to begin practicing with your partner now.
- Schedule protected time just for the two of you to spend time together.
- Listen without interrupting. Before you respond ask yourself, is it true, is it important, and is it kind?
- Watch an old movie or listen to music you both enjoy and talk with your partner
- When you are sexual, focus on pleasing your partner instead of yourself. There isn’t a goal in sex; it should be about feeling closer and more loved with touch and skin-to-skin contact.
- In a crowd of dinner guests or at an event, give your partner more eye contact than anyone else in the crowd.
- Tell your spouse frequently what you admire and love about them.
- Ask your spouse for help with your weaknesses instead of defending them.
- Revisit the town or restaurant you use to frequent as a new couple. Talk about it and share your first impressions. Tell your spouse how you were feeling at the time.
- When your partner is “down,” no one has more power to build them up or knock them down than you. Make sure you hold them and tell them you are on their side, and you will beat this together as a team.
- Hold hands in bed before you sleep and say a prayer together for the two of you. We pray for others, for our jobs and our children, but we have to pray for our relationship to.
A lack of sex doesn’t cause a divorce, a lack of intimacy does. When your marriage feels distant, increasing intimacy can help you reconnect and restore your relationship.